60 Miles from Town & Out of Milk

Where We Are

2011-12-12T14:31:00.000-08:00

We never wanted to be ones to disrupt an adoption. I thought that had to be the worst thing anyone could do to an already hurting child. The day came when we had to make the decision to disrupt for the safety of all of our children. Thankful that we had the gift of knowing potential danger before anything happened! We were stoic when we had to break the news. Mary buried her little 9 year old face in a pillow. They were hurt, again. Before they were driven away I handed them their favorite blankets and hugged them goodbye. Nothing I could have said or done could ever be adequate. Then we went home and cried. We wanted to call and have them come back. I can't say it was the hardest thing we've ever done but close.

We have spent the remaining days going through the grief process. We are now in a time of reflecting. In a remarkable turn of events the kiddos were in a potential permanent placement within 2 weeks of leaving our home. A major answer to prayer. It is a more suitable situation where they are the only kiddos in the home. We are so thankful that they are safe and happy.

This life experience will unravel one day and maybe we'll understand all the reasons. Maybe we won't. Whatever. We are just happy to have loved and been loved by 3 remarkable children that once called us "mom" and "dad". God is faithful.

Only Hope

2011-10-05T13:53:00.000-07:00

Last Christmas as we were beginning our adoption paperwork I bought an ornament to signify our journey. It simply said "HOPE".

We are in week 7 with our new family. Week 6 was hard. We found out that Trust-Based Parenting is very effective. When there is a trust relationship children open their hearts. Oh but what you may find could rock your world. Ours is rocked. When filling out all of those forms for our imaginary adoptive children we had pages of, "yes we can handle this" and "no we can't handle that". Unknowingly God has blessed us with something we know we can't handle.

I stand amazed that after 2 years in care including therapy and wonderful foster parents that I am the first one to know about these big hurts from inside a little heart. Our social worker asked us if this new information was a "deal breaker". The truth is we struggled several days with a myriad of fears and "what ifs". During which birth mom had a hearing and her parental rights were terminated. It was a long week.

"If I only hope when things look hopeful, isn't my hope cliche posturing? I'm only truly hoping when all is hopeless-otherwise it isn't hope". ~Ann Voskamp

I wish this post didn't seem like a downer. Really we are okay. Taking one day at a time and still amazingly moving in a generally forward direction. What I'm trying to say is parenting these little people with hurts the size of Texas is hard. It's a place of unknowns no matter what. It's just that known risk seems more tangible than unknown risk especially when it involves very real children with a very real life.

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23

Square One

2011-09-15T09:57:00.000-07:00

Last night I heard some very wonderful words from my 13 year old son.

"I feel safe here".

Now his feet are on the line and the starting gate is open. Just wait this kids is about to bloom!

Parenting 101

2011-09-06T13:04:00.000-07:00

Blake, our oldest son, is 17 and a senior in high school. He taught us, almost, everything we know about parenting. He was a good, studious and very thorough teacher. When he was 3 he got into trouble one day so I sent him to his room for a time out. As he was walking away he said, "This is the best of my life and it's not good". Little did he know there would be many better days!

In the past 3 weeks Clyde and I have learned more about parenting that we have with our 4 bio children up to this point. Granted they gave us a very good template and filled our toolbox with many good tools. Still we have learned more than ever to lean on Jesus and trust him to give us wisdom when it seems to have slipped away. I will add that the prayers of our family and friends have been felt in a profound way and please continue to pray for us. We have had to essentially let go of a lot of our old ways and embrace lots of new techniques. Overall, life with 7 children is going very well.

For those that have, are in the process or are considering adoption here are some challenges and things that are working for us:

I would highly recommend reading, listening or watching anything from Dr. Karen Purvis. She is a Christian child psychologist and Director of The Institute of Child Development at TCU. Dr. Purvis is devoted to helping heal children, not "fix" behavior, using practical interventions. She believes in trust-based parenting with the primary goal being attachment between parent and child, followed by behavioral change. We are using many of her techniques and it works very effectively!

To foster trust-based parenting one we are staying very close to our children. It is a lot of work but after a short 3 weeks we are already seeing positive changes. It's getting easier to see potential for melt down and catching that behavior before it happens.

We are chewing a LOT of gum. Sweet foods, like gum and fruit, help children from hard places cope better when in an uncomfortable situation or transition.

We are grounding children to us. This means keeping them in the same room or area with us. Yes, hard work. But these kids have already lost everything, so "go to your room" says, "I don't care about you, go away". We keep them close and in our experience it takes only a short time before they are ready to rectify the situation.

Some things we haven't figured out: food. I thought that kids that had been hungry would just be happy to have food. Nope. There are many foods they have never eaten so it is automatic reject. We are learning to juggle having them try new foods and finding out of there is food trauma (some negative event related to certain foods) AND letting them choose an alternative. They are happiest with ramen noodles and cereal.
But I am not and will not run a short-order kitchen.

Another thing we haven't quite mastered is our little. She is in the 3rd grade and has many days of "tummy ache", she calls it "stummy ache". We have made her go to school anyway except one day last week. Took her to the Dr. and discovered her stummy ache was legit. Then today she had a horrible stummy ache. We are sure she is not sick, likely having some anxiety. I have a plan to try a reward system for the days she successfully attends school. Overboard? Maybe. But this is a little girl that has missed a whole, whole lot of school in the past, due to a life she could not control. So I'm thinking to put her in perceived control of going to school. I'll let you know if my idea works.

I want to end with a little story. Stories from my newly arrived kiddos are like little heart glimpses into a world I am just entering. Something I want to remember.

Clyde had to go to the pharmacy. He had Mary with him, our 9 yr old. Mary had some money from her allowance last week and she independently bought me chocolate soap while he was talking to the pharmacist.
So on the way home he was teasing her that if anyone said a naughty word they could use the chocolate soap to wash out their mouth (it was just a joke). Mary told Clyde that when she was younger she dropped something on her toe and said a bad word so she went to the bathroom and washed her own mouth out with soap! That's our little. A fun quirky girl with a big heart for Jesus.

We are so very blessed.

First Week Home

2011-08-24T12:31:00.000-07:00

We've been a family of 9 for almost a week. Our main work has been getting into a very good routine. It helped us that school started on Monday, ensuring a more strict schedule. The first few days I admit to feeling a lot like the disciples in Luke 7 after they unquestioningly got into the boat with Jesus and suffered a very scary storm. We've had moments of great exhiliration and others of, "Can we really do all of this forever and ever amen?" God has whispered into my heart in moments of doubt this week, simply, "Do you trust me?" And that's all I have. Trusting that the God of the universe cares about the simple matters of daily life.

The Rest of the Way Home

2011-08-16T10:34:00.000-07:00

We have had 4 extended visits with our 3 new kiddos. It has gone well with a few mini rough patches because after all they are children. My anxiety is much better. For me the hardest part was the worrying how I would get it all organized and done. I am a planner and when life isn't organized and neat I get nervous and worried, yes that.On Thursday the plan is for us to sign guardianship papers and then we head home for good. A family of 9.

I am learning to let some things go and wondering how my 4 birth children have survived me so far. Yesterday I went outside and got on the swings with a little 9 year old girl. Because when this is all said and done no one will remember late supper with peanut butter sandwiches in between or mismatched socks. What will be remembered is the day I sat on the swings then chased dragonflies and saw that smile. When God was forming this plan he knew that one didn't need the other more. We both desperately need each other.

Today I Cling

2011-08-04T18:26:00.000-07:00

Transparency. Today has been a tough emotional day for me. I am questioning if we heard correctly, as in "God did you REALLY tell us to do this? Did you say to to go? or is this something we are trying to do in our own flesh?" Because honestly I am seeing the time commitment as nigh to impossible. I have seen the giants and I want to run. Just being honest. But I was left with this on our thankful board after our overnight visit here at home:

Some things that we're thankful for: "clothes", "shoes", "water", "underwar", "my Lord". I am praying for the renewed strength to remember that God really does make the impossible possible and I have been graciously provided a visual. I am thankful for childlike faith.

We're Home but It's Not the Same

2011-08-01T09:51:00.000-07:00

Saturday we met 3 of the most precious children in the world. We ate dinner at their home and learned that they love to laugh and joke around, one prefers cheesecake as opposed to cake with frosting, another is finally getting her 2 front teeth and the oldest might give you a cookie when you make a joke and say, "friends give friends cookies".

My heart is full and my words are few. I cannot imagine why God would bless us with the priviledge of parenting these children that are not our flesh and blood. This is something I do not deserve. Unmerited favor.The grace we thought we were going to share has turned and fallen on us.

It's Been Quiet-er

2011-07-29T14:09:00.000-07:00

I've been quiet for a while but behind the scenes it is nothing less than an overwhelming roar. One reason I'm quiet is there are a million things that, for now, we can't talk about. Confidentiality. What I can say is that we are about to step into a life journey that is amazing us. Just yesterday I heard about a couple we know that decided to adopt from state foster care and it took them 2 years to get a referral. It took us 2 days, after our paper work was completed to have our referral. Which we thought must surely be a mistake. Our adoption case worker told us that in 16 years at her job this has never happened to her. I don't understand all of this, it is astounding. And honestly if I'd have known all of this a year ago I wouldn't have believed it were true.

Today our new kiddos got the news that there is a family that wants them forever. I hurt for their hearts today as they face more loss and change but I know that there is a plan bigger than any of us. We can't see the whole picture and it is likely we never will. Tomorrow we are going to meet them for the first time. I've poured over every page of their 3-inch binders and read every detail over and over. Sometimes reading through tears of sorrow or joy. Tiny newborn footprints on a birth certificate. I don't know how this happened. Love truly does multiply, rather than divide.

Yesterday Blake,17, said to me, "I just really can't imagine our lives without these kids anymore". I'm positive none of us can.

Life in the Summer

2011-07-05T12:59:00.000-07:00

~photo courtesy of Blake

Tonight we kick off Vacation Bible School at our church! Every year proves to be different and fun as we strive to live the Gospel in our homes and community. I have the job of planning and preparing the arts and crafts. The kids make my job easy and I rarely have a child that does not want to participate. It really is a lot of fun and a big heart blessing for me.

We spent a wonderful Independance Holiday weekend with my family. There was delicious food, including grilled steaks and grill-roasted corn on the cob. Teresa told me roasted corn was an "after swimming" tradition in her large family of 10 children. She said her daddy would build a camp fire and roast fresh ears of sweet corn while the children swam to exhaustion in a river on their ranch. Part of our time was spent on (and in)the Pecos river, where I have a million childhood memories. It was hot and a little humid and it felt wonderfully like "home" for me. It was good.

We have another adoption meeting on July 14th regarding the siblings. Usually this meeting would have been scheduled 30 days after our last meeting but instead was scheduled in only 2 weeks! It was not at our request, we just mentioned that with school starting it would be in the best interest of the kiddos to consider the calendar. Everyone involved was able to juggle/coordinate/commit in that short time. If you are not familiar with adoption, this kind of planning is honestly unheard of. Our prayer is simple, let us be led by God's sovereign will and have the strength and ability to do whatever He has planned. So far in our very short experience, the fear of letting go has been worse than the actual letting go.

Whoa Nelly! An Adoption Update

2011-06-14T09:38:00.000-07:00

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts".
Isaiah 55:8-9

This is the scripture that has been on my heart this past week after getting a call from our placement case worker "J". It was during a moment of...surprise! Like when the doctor says "It's twins!". Not that I've ever had that moment happen but I just imagine that it's got to be similar!

As of last Thursday we have a potential match! This happened much quicker than we ever dreamed. And in God's sovereignty it's not what we were thinking. We were brought together through a third party placement worker, meaning not ours or the children's placement worker. Yes children, 3 siblings. If you had asked me this time last week what I thought about such an adventure I might have laughed and said, "No way!" Today my answer would be, "This is out of my hands, if God thinks we can handle it then bring it on!"

Today we pray and wait. Our home study has been sent to the siblings case worker for consideration. This door could be closed as easily as it was opened. It's funny because I usually crave some semblance of control over my life. But for today I rest in the knowledge that God's plans are not our plans. His plans are much, much better!

Something About You

2011-06-03T14:22:00.000-07:00

Photo by me, roses courtesy of my friend Kay who is in heaven~

I knew I could never understand this feeling until we were here. Our home study is complete and we are in another stage of waiting as we pursue our place in the adoption triage. Some people refer to this stage as "paper pregnant". And wow, I had no idea it would feel so...breathless. Almost every part of this process is currently out of our control, which I imagine is good in many ways. It increases the understanding of not knowing what's next. While I don't feel fearful there is a great deal of apprehension. I am a planner. The not knowing does not fit well with my personality.

I also cannot explain the feeling of knowing that our 5th child is somewhere today. And questions swirl. I can't think on all of it too long or my heart grows achy. It's funny how I can be so full of God's blessings in my life and yet there is a longing. Like a puzzle that is missing the last piece.

While we wait we are reading all that we can and preparing as well as possible. Still we are clueless. I know because once upon a time I became a mama for the first time. It didn't matter what I'd done to prepare for that first little boy because when they handed him to me my mind went blank while my heart became full. And so we embark on a new parenting journey. One on which we are hoping to learn something about you.

Vacation 2011 Where we Went

2011-05-31T15:01:00.000-07:00

I'm positive there's nothing more pleasant than ~~being~~ ~~tortured~~ by enjoying someone else's vacation pictures and stories, right?!. We arrived safely home while I chided Dawson for deleting some of the duplicate pictures on his IPod. I told him NOT TO DELETE ANY MORE PICTURES! I wanted to see every single one. Yesterday I plugged the IPod in the computer to upload and somehow I recovered the thing. It was set to an old wallpaper and 100 Grand Canyon pictures were gone. That's as far as I got. I had 10 loads of laundry to wash and a few tears to shed. I didn't take my camera on the trip, it is too big to lug around. Blake took his point and shoot but it wasn't charged on the day we went to Grand Canyon.

We drove this trip, in the past we have flown or taken the train.
Our drive included:
A night in Farmington, NM
Four Corners (NM, CO, UT and AZ). Dawson wanted to "be in four places all at the same time".
South Rim of Grand Canyon, including a mile hike down Bright Angel Trail (on Blake's 17th birthday!).
A night in Kingman, AZ
Hoover Dam
Bakersfield, CA orange groves and fresh oranges
A night in Tehachapi, CA (pretty little scenic town)
Sequoia National Forest, home of the largest sequoia tree in the world
The Hollywood sign
5 nights in Anaheim
Disneyland
Huntington Beach
A night in Holbrook, AZ
Petrified Forest National Park
and finally Pirates of the Caribbean 4 in Albuquerque
Home

After all that traveling I can honestly say there really is no place like home~

You Can't make This Stuff Up

2011-05-20T13:24:00.000-07:00

While this story isn't originally mine, I am involved in some minor way. The names are changed to protect the innocent but this is a real true story written and published with express permission from the person to whom it happened in the very recent (yesterday) past.And I still haven't stopped giggling.

As you know I am an employee of US*PS, a postmaster of a teeny tiny rural office. In my office there are two employees: a rural mail carrier that drives a daily route of 62.25 miles, Mack*, and me. Yesterday as Mack was getting into his personal car, which he uses to deliver the route, I walked outside and happened to noticed that there was a large flourescent yellow vest draped over the passenger seat of his car. I pointed at it and said, "What's that?". Mack couldn't hear me as he was already seated in the car so I walked over and opened the passenger door and asked again, "What's that vest?", Mack replied, "Oh that, it's a new volunteer fire department vest". Almost every member of our surrounding community belongs to one volunteer fire department in the area. So I just said, "Oh, looks like you'll be easily spotted." But the thing wasn't the vest, it was the overwheling scent of Pepé Le Pew. In my oft candid way I had to ask why Mack's car smelt of skunk. He said, "I think my car got sprayed last night". I simply replied, "Well, bummer." and Mack went on his way. 62.25 miles.

Mack finished the route and headed to the school to pick up his 13 year-old granddaughter, Jo. Jo had an eye appointment in town and her mama, a schoolteacher, had teacher in service. So the eye appointment chore fell to Pawpaw Mack.The drive to town from school: 55.90 miles.

Mack and Jo arrived at the appointment on time and were comfortably seated in the waiting room when one of the receptionists comes from an adjacent room and says to another receptionist, in an excited tone, "You need to call Animal Control there's a skunk outside underneath a green car!". Mack and Jo slowly turn their heads to one another and lock eyes. Mack's car is green. The number for Animal Control is busy and as the receptionist tries the number again there is excited discussion as to how in the world a skunk could get into the middle of town! Another person in the waiting room, pipes up and says, "It's this drought and all these fires, all the wildlife is coming into town". Jo is very relieved when she is called back for her
appointment. Mack sits silently and the waiting room begins to fill up with people that are afraid to leave. One woman bravely decides to head to her car and walks many yards around the green car in great fear of territorial retribution.

Finally the Animal Control officer arrives, let's call him Bob. Bob disembarks from his vehicle and sets a cage on the ground. He then proceeds to unbutton and take off his official shirt and walks stealthily over to the green car, under which the skunk is casually reclining in the afternoon sun. The skunk spots Bob and quickly returns to safety under the hood of the car. Bob lays on the ground to see if he can see the perp. Mack realizes his gig might be up and admits to owning the keys to the green car. He gets the keys out of his pocket and clicks "unlock". At this point everyone in the doctors' office is focused on the criminal situation with one woman posted at the door shouting directions to the Animal Control officer. Bob opens the drivers side car door and pops the car hood. It doesn't open. Mack tells the woman, "You have to hit the hood to make it open". So she shouts, "HE SAYS YOU HAVE TO HIT THE HOOD TO MAKE IT OPEN!" Bob makes a fist and taps the hood. "No he has to HIT it", says Mack, repeating himself. So she repeats the repeat to the Bob. Bob hits the hood again, harder, it pops partly open and Bob jumps back about 3 feet. When the hood is finally open Bob goes to his truck to retrieve a Cat Grasper. He returns and after some tentative moments reaches into the car engine and grabs the skunk then cages him. Bob places the skunk in his car and then proceeds to replace his official shirt. All in a days' work Bob, all in a days' work.

Meanwhile, in the waiting room, Mack is being indicted by a jury of his peers for bringing the skunk to town. In a moment of hot accusation one woman blatantly says, "You're from the country, you brought that skunk to town didn't you." Mack tells her she's prejudice and just doesn't like people from the country.
Mack denies any culpability but is very thankful that there's one less skunk stealing his cats' food. Not that he or his cats' food had anything to do with the skunk.

Home Study Complete

2011-05-20T10:00:00.000-07:00

Photo courtesy of Blake Moon

Celebrating a completed foster/adoption home study! We are happy to be through this step. However there is a bittersweet feeling with the knowledge that adoption is built on pain and loss. It's a hard truth for a mama's heart to process.

Homestudy Update

2011-05-17T07:31:00.000-07:00

A quick note that:
Our foster/adoption home study is yet to be completed.As of yesterday the home study worker was revising some things per a request by the supervisor. And the office (don't know specifically who) was calling some references in addition to sending/receiving faxed reference questionnaires. We did however get a call from the supervisor that she wants to set up a meeting for home study finalization! We knew this was going to take patience and we still have a little to spare. We are now 7 months into the process, which for us has been the time needed to have the solid feeling that we "know that we know" this is the right direction. That's not to say that we are not walking into this with great care. There are so many unknowns. We wait.We trust.

When God Blesses you With a Mom

2011-05-16T14:59:00.000-07:00

My last post was about remembering my mom but there is another amazing woman that I cannot fathom life without.

4 years after my mom passed away my dad met and married Teresa. I knew my dad had met someone but the wedding was a surprise! They married in Mexico, where they first met on a church building mission a few months before. After which my dad called and said, "You'll never guess what I did!" To which I replied, "You got married, didn't you?!" They returned home and held another wedding so that we could be there and to obtain a US marriage license. The wedding at home was our first time to meet Teresa. Blake was 5, Macey 2 and Shaylee 8 months. When Teresa bent down to meet Macey, Macey looked at her and said, "Nana". We had not even thought about a "name" for our new grandma. In that moment I knew that God had orchestrated this phenomenal event, but I had no idea...

I was on a run recently and like a wave I began to realize all that Teresa has meant to our family and our lives in these past 12 years. She cared for my grandparents as though they were her parents. She has loved my dad, and our family, with a compassionate beautiful heart. She is a wonderful wife and takes pride in making a lovely home. She is a fabulous cook and has taught me a lot in the kitchen! She loves the Lord with all of her heart. She is a good and genuine friend. She is my kids' Nana and they love and adore her. I know that I am the daughter she bore from her heart and she is the mother I need. I realized that all in all I cannot imagine my life without Teresa. I cry at the thought of not having her. She came to us because we lost something, someone. And while you can never ever replace a person I know that the beauty that is Teresa far exceeds the ruins that brought us here.

In 1998 I wrote in my prayer journal: "Lord please bring my dad a wife. Someone that can love him and have great compassion like mom". And He did.

Isaiah 61:3 (NASB)
"To grant those who mourn in Zion, Giving them a garland instead of ashes, The oil of gladness instead of mourning, The mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting. So they will be called oaks of righteousness, The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified."

Tom and Teresa

Think Back Tuesday: Remembering Your Mom

2011-05-11T10:25:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's Wednesday but I'm accepting this Think Back as a gift from my friend Zoanna and passing it to my children.

my mom Ruth in blue, my Granny Jean and me

Think back to when you were growing up:

1. What fragrance did your mom wear? Was it a daily scent such as soap, or do you remember how she smelled when she was dressed up to go somewhere special?

She usually smelled like pink Caress bar soap. She never wore perfume, it gave her a headache.

2. What did your mom like to do for pleasure? Was it a hobby (such as reading or flower gardening) or a necessity that she found enjoyable (such as cooking)?

She loved to cook and entertain guests. She made especially good Mexican food which my Granny taught her how to make. Her Spanish rice was THE best, red enchiladas and potato salad. No one could rival those.She also enjoyed gardening and pulling weeds out of our lawn. I think she spent a lot of time in prayer in the yard. She also loved to study and read the Bible. And she loved the mountains and wilderness treks.

3. What are some phrases you remember your mom using a lot? Do you find yourself blurting them out automatically in similar situations?

About the mountains: "This is God's country".
She always referred to smelly things as something that "stinketh".
Don't marry the person you think you can live with, marry the person you know you can't live without.

I do say these things from time to time, say the 3rd thing a lot to my kids and friends.

4. Do you know your birth story and any details of how your mother dealt with her pregnancy, your babyhood, and any special hardships or help she had in the early years?

My mom was sedated during my birth, it was the 70s.She was awakened at the very end so she didn't remember much. Just that there were a lot of stitches and that the doctor sang "Rubber Ducky" to me when I was born. She also didn't remember much about her pregnancy with me, I think it ran together with my brother's who is 22 months younger than me. I do know that my dad and her tried for about 2 years before they conceived and were very happy to be expecting.
5. What five things immediately come to your mind that your mom taught you. Don't dwell too long on ranking their importance and whether they were spiritual, relational, practical, or whatever. Just jot down five that you think of first, in any order.

1. Love the Lord your God above all else, put Him first in your life and everything else will work out.
2. Pray without ceasing.
3. Love your family deeply they are the only people that will always be there for you.
4. Friends are a wonderful treasure, cherish them.
5. How to cook.

"J" Questions for Think Back Tuesday

2011-04-12T08:38:00.000-07:00

Linking up again with A Penchant for Pens for Think Back Tuesday.

1. Did you enjoy jumping rope, and if so, were you a competitive type like me, wanting to win contests?

I enjoyed jumping rope, but mostly preferred kick ball and hanging upside down on the monkey bars. I was not really into winning jump rope contests. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that my most ingrained jump rope memory is one where a boy in my kindergarten class hit me in the head with a jump rope handle.The handle caused a gash and enough blood to create drama.

2. Were you ever seriously hurt on the playground?
Not really, except for the jump rope story.

3. Speaking of jills, did you play jacks?
I loved to play jacks and I won at it a lot. I still play with my kids occasionally. It was best played on the playground sidewalk.
4. Jack is usually a nickname for John. Are there any Jacks in your family, or anyone named John?
I have a great grandfather named Jack Cantwell. I never knew him. I once referred to him as "Jack" to my Granny and she immediately corrected me, "That's not Jack, He's Papa".

5. John III:XVI is the Roman numeral version of the Bible's most popular verse. Can you quote it? How about quoting it in a foreign language?
I can quote it, but not in a foreign language, unless you consider a NM/TX accent foreign. I can recognize it when spoken in Spanish, but would be hard pressed to repeat it back.

---------- If you want to answer the preceding questions on your blog, simply leave a comment and link back to mine so we can find you. We can jump rope or skip from blog to blog -- or do a virtual (painless) pile-up on the slide. Can you say, "33"?

Happy Tuesday!

Think Back Tuesday:Door

2011-04-05T10:03:00.000-07:00

I'm joining Zoanna at Penchant for Pens for Think Back Tuesday.

Think-Back Tuesday Questions:

1. What is the color of your front door? Did you choose it, or was it chosen by a former owner?
Would you change the color if you could?

Our front door is stained Old English.
While we were building I wanted a door with side lights. We had a budget. I started looking at door prices and quickly realized the door I wanted was out of our price range. Our builder went to an auction and while there he called to tell me that he found a door similar to what I wanted. He bid and bought it within budget! It ended up being exactly what I wanted, down to the motif in the glass.
We stained the door to match all of our other house trim, so I wouldn't change the color.

2. At whose home or office do you always feel welcome? Their door is "always open to you even if it's closed"?

I have a best friend that I know I can always visit. She is always "there" for me, even when her house is messy or she is busy.

3. Do you believe that Jesus is the only way to the Heavenly Father, the only Way to receive forgiveness of your sins? Or do you believe that you have to do something to earn forgiveness (ie penance, feeling guilty, cutting yourself, giving money to the poor, attending X number of masses/services, etc?)? Do you believe that there is a real heaven and a real hell and that Jesus decides who goes where at the end of one's life?

I believe in the imputed righteousness of Jesus Christ. Which means to pass to one’s account, to count over”. It means that Jesus places His righteousness upon our record when we trust upon Him for salvation. Romans chapter 4 speaks concerning Abraham, “For what saith the scripture? Abraham believed God, and it was COUNTED UNTO HIM for righteousness” (Romans 4:3). What a beautiful truth! Abraham was not saved by good works; but rather, he believed God and was saved by Christ’s righteousness.

However, to the one who does not work but trusts God who justifies the ungodly, their faith is credited as righteousness.
Romans 4:5 (NIV)

I believe that there is a real heaven and real hell. Which seems to be a hot topic in the Christian community at the present. R.C. Sproul has a book coming out this summer that deals with heaven and hell. I believe that hell was created for satan. I believe God has appointed a day of judgement known as the Great White Throne Judgement where all those who have rejected God's call will, in His eternal purpose, judge all mankind in righteousness by Jesus Christ. Every human who has ever lived will appear before Christ to give an account of their life and to receive either everlasting life in the presence of God, or everlasting torment in hell.For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

For the Wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 6:23 (NIV)

4. Do you sleep with the bedroom door open or closed?
We sleep with the door closed.

5. Can you remember a special door? What made it so?
As a child I loved my grandparents door, they still used a skeleton key.

Sisterhood of the Traveling Belt

2011-03-21T14:04:00.000-07:00

After a long journey the belt, from the Sisterhood of the Traveling Belt, arrived at my house! It was Friday and I knew immediately that I would be wearing it to church on Sunday. This is the full story of the belt.In short, while participating in a read along of Radical, hosted by Marla Taviano , Amy began to have a heavy heart for the cause of the Gospel and the needs of the poor. She realized that with the $28 she had recently spent on a belt 28 Africans could have clean water for an entire year! So she sold the belt to a friend. Soon after God laid on their hearts to sell the belt over and over. People would donate to blood:water mission, get a turn with the belt, write in a journal and pass it on. To date this gesture of faith has resulted in 2,296 Africans having clean water for a year! On Sunday I kept thinking about how this means so much more than we can fully grasp.

7 Days Until Spring

2011-03-12T10:26:00.000-08:00

I am so thankful that spring is almost here! Anyone else ready for a new season?
Our winter this year was uneventful, except for a cold spell that included about 4 days of way below normal temps with lows in the -20s. Some old timers reported that it hadn't been that cold in 20 years.
One reason I love New Mexico is the generally mild weather year round. I'm not biased or anything, being born and living here my WHOLE life!

Shaylee and Dawson finished elementary basketball season, another reason I am happy spring is here! I love watching them play, but wow the practices and weekend tournaments eat my lunch. A couple of times I think I passed myself on the road! This was Shaylee's last elementary year and her team was the champion at the final tournament, winning 1st place in the 5-6 grade girls age division! I honestly don't get emotional at such things as I highly value losing as a wonderful life lesson in sportsmanship and grace. But at this last game I was really overcome with pride and the realization that this moment would be a "best memory" for her and I cried. It was ridiculous!

Blake and Macey are immersed in organization contests. Blake is in every school organization, I think. He won a national trip to Washington, DC in BPA (Buisness Professionals of America) with an illustrated talk on the economy and unemployment. Then he won a national trip to Anaheim, CA in FCCLA ( Family, Career and Community Leaders of America), with an illustrated talk on adoption! Macey did a project on reading to children and also won a trip to Anaheim, pending the judges decision on a scoring mistake. I am so proud of them. I remember my mom telling me in high school that she wished she was a mouse and could travel in my pocket to events. I understand now-parenting at this stage is a third person experience.

In other news, our adoption process is still in the home study stage. Our part of the home study has been complete for 3 weeks. We are waiting on the caseworker to compile everything... I'm still thinking this is the easy part. But I don't like waiting and not knowing anything. I see now that God was teaching us trust as we built our house and met with obstacles and an unknown timeline, that knowledge is helping me to cope with this waiting better than I could have in the past. That still doesn't make this fun.

What is God doing in your life? I hope you are experiencing the seeds of hope in your heart!
That's my word of the year: HOPE

Happy Double Digit Birthday!

2011-01-20T07:01:00.000-08:00

I love it that you refuse to let me cut your hair,saying you don't look good with short hair! I am daily amazed at your compassion and willingness to quickly forgive. You have blown everything I know about being a parent and shown me that there are a million ways to love. You make us all laugh with your quick wit and hilarious sense of humor. I just want to know where the time has gone. Happy 10th birthday, Dawson!

Your Secret Name Read Along Chapters 1-4

2011-01-11T09:17:00.000-08:00

I am joining in a new read along! the book is Your Secret Name by Kary OberBrunner. This video is a trailer for the book.

Right out of the gate, a favorite quote from the introduction, also featured in the trailer:
Page 11, "Essentially, we're all homesick for a place we've never been."

Beginning this book was a little challenging for me because it time warped me into my past. God's grace has overwhelmed my sin and I don't like going back there, not even to remember. But in honor of God's amazing forgiveness I will return.

When I was in junior high I literally "renamed" myself a nickname in school; in hopes that others, and I, could forget who I really was. I wrote my "new name" on every paper, told teachers what my name "really" was and forsook long-held friendships, in order to "remake my image". I'm not sure whether this was "running" or "searching". All I know is that I was pretending. Attempting to become someone else. And no matter how hard I tried it didn't change who I was.

Page 27, "For each of us the pretending will stop-either in this life or the next.But only a few of us choose to learn our Secret Name this side of eternity. Lamentably, the rest of us have gotten so used to the bondage, we remain content only knowing our Given Names."

I didn't only play the name game with my Given Name, I played it with other people's too. Constantly labeling others in order to make myself look better, because, after all, if you can put someone down you get higher right? Wrong. And so, I sunk lower and lower into a deep need to find a name for myself.

Chapter 3, page 37-38, "Suckered into the Name Game, we focus on externals. We judge and compare and evaluate a person's worth based on the surface level of other people's Given Names."

I am pained and ashamed at the person people remember me to be. We were all so fragile. And sadly, I wore my "Christian faith" badge when it was convenient. Full of deceit, a thief and unfaithful to a God that desperately pursued me. All in hopes of changing the definition of who I was according to my peers. And I am so, so sorry.

Chapter 4, page 58, "As long we're content pretending to be someone we're not, we'll never discover our Secret Name. When we need to lie in order to get a new name, we only fool one person. Ourselves."

Even as I lived this great self deception my God had a plan for my fragile self-destructive life.

Chapter 1, page 27, "You too need to be awakened by God's whisper in a dream because, most likely, you have no idea of all the wonderful plans God wants to lavish upon you."

²³ "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23

For more comments and posts on this book go to Marla's blog.

Reflections of 2010

2011-01-01T11:05:00.000-08:00

2010

The sun has set on a year that was brimming with challenges, determination and change. This was the year we finally completed our house building project, after 21/2 years and many broken promises and contracts.And a whole lot of hard work. What we learned: "Just because God says "do it" DOES NOT mean it will be easy or comfortable. You may, in fact, be stretched beyond anything you believe you can endure. And God, He will be holding you at every moment.

Looking back we see more clearly why we had to learn these truths. Because in October we knew clearly that God has called us to adoption. So we began the process. Our case worker mentioned that after our home study she knew we would be anxious to get our child home...we just laughed because we know that home building takes time and patience! We are prepared for the wait, due to our God ordained training.

So much more happened this year. So many moments of memories. But overall it was a year of change.

For 2011 we look forward with a great amount of HOPE.

Wish List

2010-12-09T06:08:00.000-08:00

Picture borrow from Shareaholic
Have you heard of the "what NOT to get me" wish list. I thought it would be fun to copy it here and play along. Here is your chance to let someone know:
"Whatever you please don't get me_______."

1.Perfume
2.Book
3.CD
4.Retail Gift Card
5.Restaurant Gift Card

Give ONE answer for each, basically saying, “whatever you do, DON’T buy me _________.”
I'll chime in later and give you my answers.
And now, here’s your ONE wish request… IF someone wanted to spend exactly $50 on you, what would you want more than anything else? Try to be as close to the ‘retail’ price of $50 (and no donations to charity, world hunger, missions trip, peace on earth, goodwill to men, etc… we ALL want those things.

This is How it Was

2010-11-30T13:10:00.000-08:00

Nobody warned that the exchange would be so abrupt, or that when it took place I could still exchange pleasantries with friends from childhood that would kindly swoon that I looked exactly the same as in times past. It all happened so stealthily that I hardly noticed, that is until the dressing just did not taste quite the same. And well, the pies, they were different too. And the company, it was less and less. Things had changed a lot and what was weirder is that I was there all the time, not noticing.
I wonder if this only happened in my family or is this universal? The threadbare passing of a legacy.One in which the men were strong and brave and the women intelligent and thoroughly amazing in the kitchen. In my childhood world they would always be there. We would always have those delicious hot rolls buttered straight from the oven, a succulent giant crisply browned turkey and Granny's cornbread dressing that Grandad had rightly seasoned sneakily behind her back. My Granny always made the favorite pie of every family member, which admittedly was a far overdo, it was her special way of showing love. And I didn't know it, until the dessert table didn't include custard pie, my favorite, because Granny doesn't make pie much anymore. That's when I knew things had changed and every year a little more, until I barely recognize our family Thanksgiving meal.

I wanted to be a little sad that something so magical to a child had gone away. Then my daughter shared how she couldn't wait to have Nana's turkey. And I realized that a new legacy had come about and that my children saw this meal as magical and that it included me letting go of some lofty expectations of the way things used to be. So I let go of the past and decided to embrace new memories, not forgetting the old but embracing the new. And in that moment I said to myself, "Don't forget this day, it is one to remember".

Chapter 9 Radical Read Along My Response

2010-11-16T09:54:00.000-08:00

"Church goers today want short-term commitments with long-term benefits."(page 184) Yikes!

The last chapter of Radical is simply a challenge to put into practice the Biblical principles of the Gospel. Dr. Platt breaks it down into 5 components and dares us to take on this radical challenge.

1. pray for the entire world.
    ~this is something I really want to do. I may buy the guidebook to help me. Because frankly, how can I pray for the whole world when I am not familiar with every people,tribe and nation?

2. read though the entire Word.
   ~This just takes commitment. I found an online worksheet to help us through this. Clyde and I plan   to do this with our children, which we do off and on now, but I want to make a better purposeful commitment. Also going to pray that our desire for the Word rivals that of those in the secret church.

3. sacrifice your money for a specific purpose.
   ~We give to many Gospel driven causes, support a Compassion "daughter" in Ghana and give our tithe, but I would like to see us have something specific in mind and work toward a goal. Something we need to seek God concerning.

4. spend your time in another context.
   ~Right now we are spending our time in foster/adoption classes. We are planning to adopt a child from foster care. We made the decision not to close our minds to foster care. So we'll see what happens. We are totally okay with taking this journey one step at a time with an open heart and mind.
And just as a side note: there are moments when all of this has us scared to death and we feel like running away from this!.

5. commit your life to a multiplying community.
    ~Clyde and I are committed to our local church. It's a tiny rural church, that meets regularly every Sunday AM, with only about 20 dedicated steady members. And my confession is: sometimes I don't put my whole heart into our church because we're so small in numbers (without much hope for growth, due to community size)...it's an ugly truth. We dedicate a lot of time to our church, because if we don't do it, no one will. But at times my heart is just not in it. So first, I am going to ask God to please give me a love beyond compare for the people in our church. Then I am going to ask God to show me how to go about demonstrating that love in tangible ways. Clyde started us on a Radical read along with our church last Sunday evening and I am excited to see what God does as a result.

Okay, so that's it. Done reading. Now it's time to go "DO"!

Pieces of Me

2010-11-13T19:58:00.000-08:00

Like pieces of an intricate puzzle, I am beginning to get the picture. Everything that has ever taken place in our lives has a purpose. And how or whether we learn that purpose is according to the Master Planner. Every pieces is critical, even the ones with a tiny dot of color, without each one the picture would be incomplete-and God finishes everything he starts. He is the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end.

I am a slow learner. I thought,"surely this situation or that circumstance won't really matter in the scheme of things. But it does. God not only knows all about it, he planned it that way.

"your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be". Psalm 139:16

Even the things I look at and called "bad" God has redeemed for his glory. The days when hard things came into my life and I struggled to understand or even to breathe. Then the days that were good, so good that I wanted them to last just a little longer, so I could breathe in the moment and make it a permanent memory.

Get ready, God is putting together our puzzle and it will reveal his glory. And we are all going to stand amazed at what he has done.

Radical Chapter 7 Reckless Abandon

2010-11-08T12:53:00.000-08:00

Shall we just say better late than never. We'll hope!

Wow and Wow to God, who amazes me everyday with his glory. And I ask, "Why me God?". Why did you choose us, born sinners.

Okay, Clyde and I took a while to read Chapter 7 of Radical. It's been great to have a reading partner, but sometimes getting coordinated is not easy. I'm sure ya'll can relate. So many things struck me in this chapter.

First it really hit me that we measly people are THE disciples. I've always mentally elevated the disciples in the Bible(shame on me); and granted they were hand picked and on the scene with Jesus while he walked the earth. However, it has really hit home that I AM a disciple, chosen as much by God as they were. I've also known that we are commanded to "go into all the world and spread the Gospel" (Mark 16:15). But my goodness doesn't the church have people that DO that?? You know the holy ones that are called to risk life and limb. Surprise!!! We are THEM.

Now as a girl I grew up in a good home with two loving parents that raised me in the church. I was taught to be prim, proper and live life in a linear fashion (you know: graduate high school, go to college, get a job, get married...). That would be the responsible thing to do. I remember getting a "C" once in math class in the 6th grade and my daddy sitting me down and explaining that I needed to be more responsible, then he spelled it out: R-E-S-P-O-N-S-I-B-L-E. I didn't exactly know what that word meant, but I knew I better get my act together!

"The will of God is for you and me to give our lives urgently and recklessly to making the gospel and the glory of God known among all peoples, particularly those who have never even heard of Jesus".(page 160,Radical)

This passage in the book hit me like a ton of bricks. I am supposed to live recklessly? I have spent a lifetime living carefully, responsibly, and teaching my children to be careful. Don't run in the house, tie your shoelaces, careful that may be hot, ad nauseam. And now I am supposed to live urgently and recklessly?

Definition of RECKLESS
1: marked by lack of proper caution : careless of consequences
2: irresponsible
Examples of RECKLESS
He is a wild and reckless young man.
He showed a reckless disregard for the safety of others.
He spends money with reckless abandon

The truth is when we allow the infallible truths of the Gospel to saturate our hearts we realize that God indeed is asking us to live out his Gospel with reckless abandon. With the knowledge that there is nothing, nothing on this earth worth the infinite cost of a person's soul.

"Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’ 23Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’ Matthew 7:22-23 NIV

Last week our pastor said, "Where there's no mess, there's no ministry".

My adoption post.In October Clyde and I felt sure that God was clearly calling us to adoption from our state's foster care system. I explain in my other posts that while perusing our state's waiting child list there was a child that got our attention. It was not our original intent, as he is a teenager, so we responsibly put off that feeling of...being called to him particularly. About a week later we attended a state fair where the state had a foster/adoption booth. And there he was on a huge poster, as big as life. One of three big posters;out of 300 waiting children that are allowed to be listed as "ready to adopt". And I said to Clyde, "Isn't that funny". But I knew it was more than "funny", I knew. Much like a mother knows when the nurse brings your baby to you from the hospital newborn nursery that, "yep this one's mine". But I responsibly kept this secret inside. But eventually my heart spilled out and I couldn't contain the feeling that he somehow is going to play a role in our lives. It was very soon after we were all sitting at the dinner table and Clyde said, "Are we all here?" He felt it too. The pit of your stomach feeling that someone is "missing" from your table.
After being given the charge to quit living like we might lose something we unwrapped our hearts and decided to do an inquiry on this young man. We were afraid before, thinking that our social worker should be the one telling us the child they recommend for our family. But it is time to live recklessly, careless of the consequences. Risking everything. Our family, our emotions, time,energy, money and future. Because we cannot live our lives wondering if we were the ones and we simply didn't accept the call because it was about us being responsible and careful. Now we wait. We have to finish PRIDE adoption training, do a home study and a ton of paperwork. Ours is the easy part, because he is waiting too and wondering if by some chance he will be adopted before it's too late. I wish I could tell him, God is never late.

Are we afraid? Terrified.Do we think this will be easy? Hardest thing we've ever done. Are we prepared? Are you kidding. Do we know what we are risking? Everything. Do we know that God will faithfully walk with us through this? Without a doubt.
What are you doing today to live recklessly in light of the Gospel?

We're In

2010-10-29T13:51:00.000-07:00

Many of you will remember the post where I talked about mailing in an application for foster care and adoption in our state. It felt good to take that tiny step. There are still many fears of the unknown and a desire make sure this is the right direction. I also mentioned in that post that there was a child that sparked our interest on the waiting child list. That child, if nothing else, revealed within Clyde and I that our call is to adopt a waiting teen. Yes, you read that right.

I ponder daily about how this is going to affect our family. My children are 16,13,11 and 9. Adoption in and of itself is going to profoundly change our family dynamic, but with a teenager there will be so much more to consider. There are so many reasons why this shouldn't work. I have plead with God to please change our hearts if we are not going the right direction. When we attended adoption/foster orientation this week I thought something or someone might change our minds, but I walked away with an even stronger conviction.

I don't really know how to explain any of this. When I think it aloud it sounds insane. Inside my heart I have an unexplainable peace. A knowing that God sovereignly planned this from before the foundation of the world (Eph 1:4). There is a child in my heart that I haven't met, likely haven't seen and don't know.

I'm not saying that God won't drastically change our adoption call or the direction. We certainly are keeping our minds and hearts open to all the possibilities of this journey. And we are not at all ignorant of the dangers and massive mental and emotional hardships this has the potential to introduce into our lives. Which is likely nothing compared to the things some children face when they find themselves in need of a family that can love them unconditionally. We find ourselves in a position that requires us to obediently follow this crazy call, knowing that on the other side our Heavenly Father has already given the ultimate sacrifice on our behalf.

Radical Read Along Chapter 6,The Journey from Here

2010-10-25T05:27:00.000-07:00

Chapter 6 of Radical is rich. It gives us a picture of what it can mean, fleshed out, to begin the steps to a sold out radical Christian life. One in which we are willing to trust God and risk everything for the sake of a call to spread to Gospel to a lost and hurting world. A world where the Gospel is often rejected, even hated.

"So Abraham rose early in the morning and saddled his donkey, and took two of his young men with him and Isaac his son; and he split wood for the burnt offering, and arose and went to the place of which God had told him". Genesis 22:3

The story God is writing on my heart is one of obedience and complete trust. I don't know exactly where I am going, how I will get there or where this story will be complete. If I knew then I would not need the faith, given to me by God, to take the journey.

"4On the third day Abraham raised his eyes and saw the place from a distance.
5Abraham said to his young men, "Stay here with the donkey, and I and the lad will go over there; and we will worship and return to you.6Abraham took the wood of the burnt offering and laid it on Isaac his son, and he took in his hand the fire and the knife. So the two of them walked on together. 7Isaac spoke to Abraham his father and said, "My father!" And he said, "Here I am, my son." And he said, "Behold, the fire and the wood, but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?" Genesis 22:4-7

I have had to ask myself, "what is my Isaac?". What is God asking me to sacrifice for the sake of his glory? Do I fear almighty God enough to obey him no matter the cost?

"8Abraham said, "God will provide for Himself the lamb for the burnt offering, my son." So the two of them walked on together. 9Then they came to the place of which God had told him; and Abraham built the altar there and arranged the wood, and bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. 10Abraham stretched out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. 11But the angel of the LORD called to him from heaven and said, "Abraham, Abraham!" And he said, "Here I am." 12He said, "Do not stretch out your hand against the lad, and do nothing to him; for now I know that you fear God, since you have not withheld your son, your only son, from Me." 13Then Abraham raised his eyes and looked, and behold, behind him a ram caught in the thicket by his horns; and Abraham went and took the ram and offered him up for a burnt offering in the place of his son. 14Abraham called the name of that place The LORD Will Provide."Genesis 22: 8-14

Even though I may have no idea what God is doing, I can trust that he is holy,holy,holy. He will prove faithful as I obey.

Has God asked you to sacrifice something or someone in your life as you take steps to obey? I will share more about what God is asking of me and my family in a few days.

For more Radical posts, go to Marla's blog!

Radical Read Along Week 5

2010-10-12T07:38:00.000-07:00

Whew! So much to process. I've read many sentiments on this chapter and there seems to be much ruminating.

Some of my first reactions to the chapter were: "I can't so that" and "I can't do that" and...you get the idea. I think one of my biggest "hang-ups" is that I keep thinking that I'm not knowledgeable enough to really "do" discipleship. I can't do it like my Sunday school teacher who spends the week studying for the next lesson, so it isn't really my place, right? Then God began showing me some things this week.

First God showed me that simply living faithfully according to the Gospel IS discipleship. Life itself is a lesson to those in my life-which is a little scary, because I know me. One of my favorite sayings is, "Life happens to you while you're living it", and I think that in many ways discipleship happens while you're living life. This is sobering, because as I said, "I know me" and me is not always who I want her to be. However, that's the beauty of grace: that regardless of who I am at this moment God sees me as sanctified; imputed grace because of Jesus. Therefore, I have to trust God that my life will reflect his glory through the unmerited grace that I have been given.

Secondly God showed me that if this is all about me then I should be concerned about what I am able to give/teach someone else. Gulp. Well, it's not about me. So I don't have to concern myself with what I don't know or don't have to offer. This is not to say that we shouldn't seek to know God more through prayer, The Word, or knowledge, this is to say that, when God sets your feet about to do something for his glory, He will provide whatever you need to fulfill the task. So quit making that you're excuse! Ouch.

"And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28
And we have learned through this study that God's purpose is his glory!

Over the course of this week God has simply shown me that I CAN do discipleship and that I AM doing discipleship. It was as if he said, "Look around, they are the ones", and I went, "Huh, them?! Me?! What?!" They weren't the ones I'd imagined. I'm surely not the one they imagined!Apparently he's in the business of sanctification.

Sanctify: originates from the Greek word hagiazo, which means to be "separate" or to be "set apart." In the Bible, sanctification generally relates to a sovereign act of God whereby He "sets apart" a person, place, or thing in order that His purposes may be accomplished.

For more awesome Radical read-along responses go to Marla's blog!

"Is Anything too Hard for the Lord?" Genesis 18:14

2010-10-11T06:55:00.000-07:00

This week has been an interesting one. It's amazing how God moves in our hearts and lives, like a silent fog encapsulating us so that when we look up we realize that we're surrounded completely by his grace.

I mailed our application last week for in state adoption and foster care. A seed planted in my heart a long time ago. For reasons I cannot practically put into words, now is the time. We got a call this week that our application is in process and we've been assigned a case worker. Next we will begin the required training classes and have our first home visit.

As a family, we have been browsing our state's waiting child list. If you don't yet have a heart for orphans, search you're state and take a look at the children waiting for a forever family. Watch their videos and allow God to penetrate your heart with the hopes and dreams these children have for themselves. There was a particular child that caught our attention.

Later in the week we rolled to the last fair of the year. Shaylee showed her steer one last time and got a 5th place. We are so proud of our kids' hard work this year, especially their attitudes that have shown through this fair season.

As we were perusing the fair we noticed that Children Youth and Families had a fair booth. The booth had 3 gigantic posters of individual children and several smaller pictures of children. Guess who was on one of the 3 gigantic posters at the booth? Yep, the child that caught our attention on the website(out of over 100 children). Believe in coincidence? me neither.

"God makes a home for the lonely; He leads out the prisoners into prosperity, Only the rebellious dwell in a parched land." Psalm 68:6

Finally our week wrapped up, like this: our church is currently awaiting the arrival of our new pastor. We have supply pastors bridging the gap. Sunday at service time it was discovered that the planned pastor would not be there. We worshipped and a few gave testimony and as we were about to dismiss another, former, pastor said he had a few words. He gave one of the best sermons I have ever heard from Philippians 4. It was amazing and I know directly God inspired.

What is God doing in your life that makes you realize he is sovereign?

Radical Read Along Week 4-Done

2010-10-04T15:25:00.000-07:00

In this fourth week of reading Radical I am done. Done wrestling, done fighting, I surrender.

I am trying to figure out how to put into words what is inside my heart and mind. Right now I just feel like crying, not for myself, but for what I see and know. I have been living life awake with my eyes shut. I haven't allowed my heart to be truly permeated with the needs around the world. It is simpler to go to work, go home, pay bills, run kids to activities, do laundry, cook supper, wash dishes and donate a little money here and there(particularly for world missions) to alleviate my conscience. My life by and far has been lived to avoid suffering. And how can that be when I know Christ suffered terminally for his gospel. And that without that gospel I am hopeless and ruined.

I am not sure exactly what to do with my surrender. I don't know where to go from here. I just know I need to go. The logistics of how this will play out in my life are unknown. And that's okay. This was probably my biggest mental hurdle: trusting God completely with what's next and being okay that I don't know. I'm not there all the time, there are many moments I want to make plans according to my agenda. Except I don't really want my plans back. I want to be spent for the sake of the gospel and that wasn't included on my life calendar.

Today we are mailing in our application for adoption in our state. It is something we have always had on our hearts. When we were first married (17 years ago) we applied and took the classes but never completed the home study because we decided to start our own family. Our lives have been consumed with our own agenda. But God is faithful, sovereign and good. We are done trying to figure out how we can make it all work while maintaining our "American Dream". I had a family member ask me why we wanted to do this and all I could choke out was, "because we feel led by God". I have no idea what I'm going to say to the social worker, just that my heart is broken for the cause of the orphan, the widow, the hopeless. Because without Jesus, that's me.

We're done dreaming our own dreams.

for more Radical read along comments go visit Marla.

Week 3 Radical Read Along

2010-09-25T08:24:00.000-07:00

It was hard, at first, for me to really relate to this chapter, because a lot of it was about the larger churches and how they operate. Their plans, organization and operations. I might have even wanted to pat myself on the back for the fact that at our church we don't really deal with these kinds of issues. We are a tiny rural agriculture-based community. Our church(there are 2 churches in town) averages about 40 adults and children on a Sunday morning. When there is a suggestion made for any activity we know who will be planning and performing all of the duties: we are few and faithful. With such short numbers it is essential that each of us rely on God to give us the ability we need to do things like Vacation Bible School-we are often stretched beyond what we think we are capable of doing. However, it is easy to still fall into the mindset of "look what we did". And that is not the agenda; the agenda is simply to make God's name famous.

"But if it were I, I would appeal to God;
I would lay my cause before him.
He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed,
miracles that cannot be counted.
Job 5:8-9

Page 56, "God delights in using ordinary Christians who come to the end of themselves and choose to trust in his extraordinary provision". Are you ready to say "YES" to whatever God asks of you, even if it's not your plan?

For more week 3 read along responses

Sara Groves, "I Saw What I Saw"

2010-09-22T06:39:00.000-07:00

Sara Groves, "I SawWhat I Saw"

This is probably on oldie for many of you (2007). As we've read through Radical I cannot get this song out of my mind. It makes me ask myself what I know of love. "Your courage asks me what I'm afraid of."

Week 2 Radical Read Along

2010-09-20T10:58:00.000-07:00

I don't know where else to start except to say that I feel set to take action, like a runner standing at the starting line, the pistol is up and my heart is racing, so are my thoughts.

In Chapter 2 of Radical one major point that stood out to me was Platt's reflection of the view of unbelievers of God. A god on top of a mountain that must be climbed in order to get to him. It hit me hard that I have held that exact thinking at some periods in my theological history as a Christian. In other words I viewed God as something I had to work toward; the better I was, the closer I was to God. This is just honest and ugly and a setup for a huge fall and many ruined expectations (that I placed on myself and others). This made my faith about me, not about God.

Jesus Christ-the Exception
God, In his grace,came to us in the man of Jesus Christ. He became humanity and fellowshipped with sinners, like me. What Jesus didn't do was say, "come follow me to church and there I will show you a good time". He said "come to me, I am The Way, I am The Truth , I am The Life"(John 14:6). I am enough. I fear that we have set our churches up with the theology of "getting to the god on a mountaintop". An ideal that has wrapped itself around our faith, which includes prosperity, health, wealth and evidence of faith due to the fact that we are...living the proverbial American Dream- Because? Jesus is not enough?

Sadly, we have set up an expectation that a sinful people will come to us, very affluent people, to seek repentance. The problem lies in the fact that the church is only offering what the world already offers except we give it FOR FREEEEEE (think Adam Sandler in "Bedtime Stories"). If, IF we really want to be like Jesus we'll begin a process of living out our faith with people; the people at work, the people next door, our families, the lady that mops the grocery store. It's so much more comfortable to live our faith in the company of those that we know are at least mostly like us, it's safe. What Jesus says is, rid your life of of your fragile self-preservation system. Don't be afraid of hurt, disease and suffering. TRUST ME.Hop back to chapter 1 with the rich young ruler; his preservation system was his riches, he literally could not live without them. You know what your preservation system is- and I all too well know mine; what Jesus is saying is, your only preservation system should be ME. I am enough.

I realize this is a whole lot of rather big(somewhat random) ideas put together...this is just some of the things Clyde and I have discussed and reiterated, thought about and had on our hearts this week. I don't know how to wrap this up and tie it with a bow or put a bun on it. I just don't.
I am hurt, I am sad, I might even be angry that I have allowed the world to corrupt me (not from the outside) but from within. I want to be different. Please God cleanse our hearts and give us a hunger only for you.

More House Pictures

2010-09-16T14:23:00.000-07:00

What a follow up. Pictures of my big new house after my last post talking about giving up everything to follow Jesus. To partially quote a friend I will say, I don't know if it's okay to live in a big new beautiful house when there are 26,000 children that will die in the world today of starvation or preventable disease. For today this is my story while I wait on God to show me what he wants me to do to live with a heart fully commited to his purposes alone.

Our home is a testament to God's faithfulness. While men failed us and did not follow through with their empty promises God is ever present.

These are kids rooms and bathrooms:

Dawson's room-he wanted "cowboy brown"
Shaylee's bedroom-dreaming of a trip to Paris

Jack & Jill bath

vanity room #1-key lime pie

Shower room-stripes I painted

Vanity room #2-pacific ocean Macey's room

Blake's room
Blake's/Guest bath(my very 1st tile work)

towel hanger I made
And last...for a blog friend that once posted about

making guests feel welcome: she mentioned that extra

tp should be handy! Here's for you Z! Of course, I agree!

Week 1 Radical Read-Along

2010-09-12T19:29:00.000-07:00

I'm joining an online book read-along and will be posting my thoughts here on my blog by chapter; there are 9 chapters. The book is , "Radical, Taking Back your Faith from the American Dream", by David Platt. Anyone is welcome to join in and read with us. It's an easy read with hard truths from the gospel.

Chapter 1, as I suspected from listening to David Platt's Radical sermons, has left me in somewhat of an emotional wreck. (for those not reading) It's entitled, "Someone Worth losing Everything for", referring to Jesus. So right off the bat we have to ask ourselves, Do I really believe that this Jesus is worth losing everything for? If by some circumstance I lost everything would I find that I am content still IN Him alone? I am reminded of something said by my SIL's Korean exchange student that when asked what she wanted for Christmas, replied, "I have everything I need." She had come to live in the US for a year with only a suitcase of belongings. Page 19, last paragraph reads, "But I want to know him. I want to experience him. I want to be part of a people who delight in him like the brothers and sisters in underground Asia who have nothing but him. And I want to be a part of a people who are risking it all for him".

Contentment in our society isn't only elusive, it's very, very rare. And if I am honest I admit that I live in a state of constant discontent and self-reflection on that simple truth is hard to swallow. I let the pill "go down with sugar" when I listen to well-meaning friends in my little world tell me that "I deserve this (comfy lifestyle)"or that "I've worked hard to get here". Only Jesus has ever spoken the hard truth to me:
"For whosoever should save his life shall lose it : and whosoever shall lose his life for my sake shall find it.For what shall a man be profited if he gain the whole world, and forfeit his life?or what shall a man give in exchange for his life?" Matthew 16:25-27

Platt ends the chapter with two charges:
1)Commit to believe whatever Jesus says.
2)Commit to obey what you have heard.

I can do neither of these things (or anything else for that matter) in my own power. I am praying that God will show me his way.The hymn we sang in worship this Sunday sums up my heart.

Set My Soul Afire, Gene Bartlett
Set my soul afire Lord, for Thy Holy Word, burn it deep within me,
let thy voice be heard
Millions grope in darkness in this day and hour,
I will be a witness fill me with Thy power.

Refrain:
Set my soul afire Lord, set my soul afire.
Make my life a witness of Thy saving pow'r.
Millions grope in darkness, waiting for Thy Word.

Set my soul afire, Lord, set my soul afire!
Set my soul afire, Lord, for the lost in sin, Give to me a passion as I seek to win;
Help me not to falter never let me fail,
Fill me with Thy Spirit, let Thy will prevail.

Set my soul afire, Lord, in my daily life.
Far too long I've wandered in this day of strife;
Nothing else will matter but to live for Thee,
I will be a witness for Christ lives in me.

County Fair Untied

2010-08-18T09:33:00.000-07:00

The county fair is a whole like many other past times or sports, it's a hobby. I will give kudos to the fact that it teaches children (and parents) character and hard work. I was not in 4H growing up, nor did I show animals, so I have had to learn my way through this process; unlike Clyde who showed steers from the time he was 9 years old and fully anticipated our children following suit.

Here is a little rundown on the whys and what-fors:
~children are allowed to join 4H and begin showing animals when they are 9 or in the 3rd grade; they can also show animals as a member of FFA (Future Farmers of America), which is for teens.They must be a member of one or the other to enter a fair.
~my first group of pics are the steers.
~the steers are in classes of about 7; grouped (broken) by weight.
~there is 1 judge, assisted by a couple of guys that maintain control in the ring (this is a fair not a rodeo-haha).
~We retain ownership of steers from October until about September/October, depending if they make the sale...then they go for slaughter(sorry, they're not pets).
~Clyde does not implant our steers with hormones; and we do eat our own natural farm raised beef(or sell to friends)...and yes, my children are aware and they love their rib eye (you would too)-it's like no other beef you can buy, come over and we'll share!
~the children spend many hours training/working(washing, brushing, clipping) with the animals so that they are calm and not jumpy. This is not 'normal' behavior, it is from hard work!
~the judge is looking for lots of muscle, ideal form(straight back), good bone structure and a good dose of class in the steers/goats/sheep.
~When an animal places high enough it can be sold at the fair auction. These animals bring much more than market value, due to donations from businesses that value agriculture clients (banks, auto dealers, grain companies, etc), family and friends. This helps pay feed bills or purchase of animals for the next year; it also helps many children go to college.

~bottom line: showing is a tradition.

Here is my 9 year old trying to look over the steer to see the class judge.(one rule of showmanship:keep your eye on the judge):
the guys facing behind: l to r are my BIL and niece's husband.(it really is a family activity)

Shaylee (11) and her 2nd place steer

Blake (16) and Dawson; D is scratching his steer's belly to keep him still

Blake trying to keep his steer's head up (4th place)

Shaylee talking to the judge(they often ask what the animal weighs and what/how many pounds you are feeding them and they put their hands on the animal).

Could you please avoid telling the 1200-pound animal that the 50-pound boy is really NOT in charge! ~thank you management.
Macey(13) showing her bred heifer (which will go home to pasture with our herd)

~this year we allowed Macey and Dawson to show rabbits. Something we had never done before. It was great because they only had to retain ownership for 20 days. The rabbits are only about 70 days old. There were 7 pens of 3 rabbits at the whole fair- we placed 4th and 6th. Then, the original owner bought them back for breeding. Which I was very thankful for-I will eat beef...not a bunny.
~the main trait in the rabbits was: as close to 5 lbs as possible (disqualified if over) and the pen of 3 having very close weights. The winner was within 3 oz on all 3 rabbits. Also, clean fur (no mites) , healthy and intact toenails.
Here the judge is checking the rabbits "fly back fur"...I just learned this...as that is a trait of true bred New Zealand rabbits!Mmm, okay-good thing our breeder sold us the right thing!

My sweet Macey with her rabbits (need a babysitter? this is the girl); smart Dawson in the background standing in front of the air conditioner.

~Blake raised all of his own goats this year (lots of people just buy them from a breeder/farm).

~goats are ran *almost daily spring and summer for exercise to build muscle.
~this year we sold 3 goats at the auction (Macey didn't show goats).

Dawson & Blake in the holding area getting ready to show; coolest place in the barn.

Clyde giving last minute instructions; Blake, "oh, moo0m, not another picture".
Sweet Shaylee with her goat Lily

It was a good fair! The best part is time with friends and family and the hugs that come from kids that know you love and care about them!

Done Camping

2010-08-10T08:17:00.000-07:00

My Pepo and Grandmother lived their entire married life not far from here. They did have electricity, but never indoor running water. Pepo was born in 1903 and never saw the necessity; there was a windmill right out the back door after all. However, he was known to tell folks that they were "just camping". Not that we ever had it as tough as my grandparents, but I'm still thankful to say that we're done camping.
Pictures of the main living area:
Front entry-see the tractor in my back yard-haha! We refer to this room as "the library".
However, the nook currently houses air hockey...
to the right is the kitchen.
Right of the front entry; dining room/family room
to the left is the kitchen wall hanging I made for our dining room.

family room...in the dark (oops, sorry). family room looking back at front entry

these cabinets with pull-out drawers are a favorite!

Excellence does not Equal Perfection

2010-08-06T13:20:00.001-07:00

I might be a *bit* of a perfectionist. Which is why, in my pride, I haven't posted pictures of our moved-into house. Because I have nary a picture on the wall...unlike my niece who told me that hanging pictures is the first thing she does (when she has moved). So, I'll get over it and try (not promising) to get some pictures up soon.

Meanwhile, check this out: taken by Shaylee, 11 yo, last year (when she was 10) on our vacation in Branson. She will be entering this in the fair as part of her 4H digital photography project. Next week is county fair. My kids are all showing animals this year; Dawson is 'FINALLY' (his words) old enough. We have 4 steers, 1 heifer, 7 goats and 6 rabbits! Whew! Tomorrow is clipping/sheering day, which will likely last all day with this slew of animals. My job is to make sure show apparel for all children is hunted down, washed, ironed and ready to go. Our week will consist of leaving home very early and arriving home very late-so I get the clothing sorted out to deter last minute drama-ha ha! One of the points of good showmanship is appearance of the 'show-er'. So much of showing is about lessons in hard work, patience and excellence- so no matter where we place the experience is really the point(of course we do love to win!).

Hope your summer is winding down sweetly...next up: back to school!

Country Life, The Real Deal

2010-07-16T10:09:00.000-07:00

Love it that Macey is wearing jewelry while driving the combine...

It's Probably In a Box

2010-07-01T10:39:00.000-07:00

This is going to be a "yappy" post...I made it up, it means mostly random talk and few pictures.

We are yet in wheat harvest. We keep thinking we are almost finished, but then it rains! It has been wonderful and a huge blessing; last week it rained 4.17 inches in one afternoon/evening. For you northern folks that may not be impressive, for us that only happens maybe every 5 years during a single storm. It is raining again today, so what little harvest is left is now on slight delay.

We had planned to move to our new house (about 150 feet north of our old house) in a couple weeks. But after the big rain, Clyde said, "We might as well move now." Yikes!! It all happened very fast...and my "packing" left much to be desired. But we got moved enough to have our essentials. Other furniture and STUFF (that could probably be left and never missed) will be done a little later, after harvest, the 4th holiday and a trip to Taos. The trip is a school board retreat (meeting) that I get credits for, but we are looking forward to getting away and not unpacking or working for a couple days.

By the way, I am generally a type "A" planner-haha! I love organization, calendars and everyone/everything in their/it's place! God has been so graceful to me in teaching me to quit relying on myself and my ability to plan everything. I am learning to let go of things and allow him full control of me and my life. I can't say that this journey has been easy or that I have arrived.

In building our house Clyde and I have learned to be intentional with our days; not to number years or lists of tasks to be completed. And not to put off life because we are in the midst of a monumental undertaking. People have asked us a thousand times, "Do you have a move in date?". We never did-because there might be a basketball game, Dr's appointment, craving for Sonic ice (it's 45 miles to a Sonic) or a new movie to see. I think that's how we survived this ordeal still intact. Allowing God to really reign, unafraid of what we might be asked to do next and trusting his timing. Knowing that God is the one providing the strength to do whatever is required. It was a long hard lesson, but we are being blessed beyond description.

House pictures will come later...I promise! Meanwhile, here we are at our whole school class reunion in May:

Where Spring Went

2010-05-18T10:20:00.000-07:00

We have been getting ready for county 4H contests:

Shaylee at archery practice.

Dawson at rifle practice, in the cap he got for completing hunter's safety!

We've been playing with our friends:

And still working on our house:
while these are 'house' pictures, they're really works in progress.

This door came from my grandparents farm house,it was their back door. I sanded it enough to get some poly on it. I primed the panels (the white part) and painted them with black chalkboard paint (not in this pic). I am going to put some coat hooks on it and hang it on a wall in the mud room.
Clyde got the surround built for our bathtub; it is bead board and we have yet to paint the trim white.

Kitchen Countertops

2010-04-19T08:21:00.000-07:00

Here is our kitchen a few months ago:

Here is our kitchen today! We got our countertops installed last week and I almost cried:
Left of the refrigerator.

So thankful Clyde agreed to and installed undercounter lighting!
This is also a good look at our stained concrete floors.
an overhang on the island for a couple of counter stools.

undermount kitchen sink and eating bar.

Next...backsplash, planning to use brick veneer. So, one project down and a few to go including polying a few cabinet doors and crown molding. We're getting there!

Candy Isn't Just for Kids

2010-03-31T14:09:00.000-07:00

It all started when a sweet couple from our church bought a HUGE bag of Smarties candy to give to little trick-or-treaters one Halloween. They had so many candies left over that they began bringing Smarties candies to church the following Sunday morning to share with the children. And every Sunday after that. It became a "tradition" of sorts that Mr. and Mrs. H would always have candy to share and they always made sure that they did.

This past Saturday Mr. and Mrs. H had a tire blow out in their car and they lost control, rolling the car into a field. Mrs. H went home to be with Jesus, she was 61, Mr. H walked away from the accident. Sunday Mr. H came to church and afterward I watched as my youngest son made his way over to him, then I heard the words, "Got any Smarties?" I was slightly embarrassed that my son, to whom I had explained the gravity of the circumstances, would ask Mr. H for candy on such a sad, hard day. Mr. H answered, "not today, buddy". In the car, on the way home, Clyde asked D, "Did you understand what you were doing when you asked Mr. H for candy today?" (as in, do you understand that this was not appropriate). Dawson answered, "Yeah dad, I was just trying to cheer him up, so that he knows we still need him". Just who is that candy for anyway?

We Work in Dog Years

2010-03-24T10:07:00.000-07:00

It was almost 2 years ago that the foundation for our house was laid, it was supposed to take 10 months to completion. I think we've gone a little past schedule. Instead of, "How's the weather?", the classic question we hear almost daily is, "Are you ready to move into your new house?" And well, no. Okay, yes, but as it gets closer I realize all the things that I have been able to put-off are here! Yesterday our fabulous carpet installer came to measure bedrooms. Carpets will be installed in about 2 weeks. I don't think the reality has sunk in quite yet that we actually set a date with the carpet installer...I wonder what 2 weeks equals in dog years? Let's hope we don't find out!

We chose a a Shaw frieze carpet, in a nice color, close to dirt. And I love it!!

http://www.shawfloors.com/carpetDetails

Countertops Decided-check

2010-03-22T16:10:00.001-07:00

So...we decided on kitchen counter tops. It helped a little that the granite fabricators came Friday (like they said they would), then made a template of our cabinets, eating bar and sinks! Put some pressure on us to decide ad not procrastinate. The very polite business owner told us that he needed to know by 10AM Monday which granite we chose-because he placed his order today! At first we were going to go with Santa Cecilia, which is very pretty and we were told, "a popular choice". We looked at it in our kitchen. It has all of the colors in it that are in the permanent fixtures (lighting, cabinets,floors), but honestly with all that wood, it took on a "wood color look" to me. By this morning our minds were made up...we needed a "wow factor" in our space, rather than an "oh, that's nice" feeling. We are going with the Tan Brown, which in person looks like a speckled black or dark brown. We think it matches our concrete stained floors very well. Now for the wait until installation and seeing if it all comes together...fingers crossed. Thanks again for your comments and votes!

Kitchen Decisions

2010-03-18T13:14:00.000-07:00

It's time to make final decisions on our kitchen and I need you, my blog buddies to help me! In a unexpected, good, surprise we are going to have granite counter tops installed. I need Our cabinets are sugar maple, shaker style, in a natural finish.
This is the living room, but it shows our stained concrete floors fairly well, which are the same in the kitchen; they are diluted black, which is to say a "mottled tortoise brown/black".

A close example of our cabinets.

Below, the 3 granite choices that are "finalists".

Santa Cecilia

Ubatuba
Tan Brown

I am asking that you please vote for the granite you think would look the best in our kitchen. I like all of them and cannot decide whether to go light or dark with the light cabinets and dark floors.
all granite images were taken from:http://www.daltilestone.com/index.cfm

Reminisce

2010-03-10T07:56:00.000-08:00

I was a girl of about 8, with blond, somewhat unruly, pig-tails. My brother was 6 and full of never-ending energy; he was brunette, like my mama. Daddy had black hair, salted with a little white. He said it started that way when he was 18. Mama said white was her favorite hair color and that she couldn't wait until daddy was all salt. It was because of that blond hair that I started wondering if maybe I was adopted, but I kept my feelings a secret. Besides, at every family reunion aunt Ruby always squeezed my face and told me how much I looked like my mother.

In the spring of 82' the potash mine had a massive layoff. I didn't know what that meant, except that daddy was home a whole lot and once I saw mama crying at the kitchen sink. Mama tried not to let me see her tears and even grinned at me when she noticed I was looking, but it wasn't her normal happy smile so I knew inside that this layoff wasn't good news.

One night at supper, during the layoff, mama said we were going to have a "surprise"! And indeed it was, we had breakfast for supper. We'd never done that in our family before, so it was quite a treat. We sat on our chippy white dining chairs together at our round table. It was more than ordinary breakfast, it was bacon, eggs and hash browns all cooked together in mama's cast-iron skillet. We held hands and daddy asked that we each mention something we were thankful for. I said I was thankful cause my birthday was coming soon and my brother said he was happy we had ketchup to go with those eggs. Mama and daddy were thankful we had food to eat and a warm place to live. I don't remember mama or daddy eating too much, but I remember filling my plate more than once and knowing that this was the best tasting bacon and eggs ever and I felt happy.

I don't know how much time passed between the layoff and the potash mine calling daddy back to work. What I remember is the day a lady from the church brought over two paper bags of groceries. There were even Fruit loops cereal, mama never let us buy those kinds of treats. That and the day we got home from church and daddy found a-hundred dollars in his Bible. I would venture to say, that from my perspective, these were some of the happiest memories of my life.

11Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.
12I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.
13I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
Philippians 4:11-13

I realized as an adult that we ate breakfast that night because it was all we had. Before my mom passed away I thanked her for all the gifts of example that she gave me as a child, but no words seemed adequate. And no, I am not adopted, just a childhood notion. Everyday more and more I see my mom in the mirror...I only hope this reflection runs deep inside me too.

Kitchen Progress

2010-03-09T08:13:00.000-08:00

Here I am, breaking every rule of picture taking: took the pictures after dark and unfortunately the new low energy bulbs are not good for pictures. There was one rule I didn't break. I didn't use flash in these pictures because I took the pictures with my Sony Handycam and there is NO flash. However, I want to reveal the progress of our kitchen! It might not look like much, but this kitchen has come a long way...ps our walls are not white, they are "sweet slumber" by Valspar (a really pale blue), cabinets are sugar maple, natural finish. Also, our kitchen is in the middle of the house, it is the "heart" of our home. front and center is an eating bar that will have a counter top overhang. to the far right is walk in pantry.

The magic triangle; fridge, double oven range, and sink. Loop vent is for island sink; island to be installed this week.

The open space left of the fridge is for the dishwasher, above and left of fridge is microwave cabinet. Range hood will be getting a coordinating trim out.

looking from kitchen into family room, straight ahead, behind eating bar, is kitchen sink.

Well, that's it for now...more to come later!

Little Update

2010-03-03T08:16:00.000-08:00

I guess I'm in hibernation mode. I am so ready for spring! The last couple days we've have spring weather (minus our usual high plains wind). I am loving the sunshine on my face in the morning, it is so hopeful!

Little update on house progress...Clyde says that we will be ready for carpet and countertops in 3 weeks. When I laughed and said, "really?" He told me that you can't reach goals when you don't have any! Okay, then let's set some goals!! Kitchen cabinets are being completed and installed this week; then the same crew will finish closets-whew! We are also getting our new heat pump unit this week (yup, the new one on the house went out).

So, we definately won't be living in our house by spring break, as we had hoped...but maybe sometime in spring! I believe that 2 years of house building is enough to last me a lifetime.

It's What A Mom Does...

2010-02-11T14:41:00.000-08:00

I completely forgot that my kids had V-day parties this week. Things are hopping around here right now. The past 2 weeks of snow storms have not made me anxious to travel, although Clyde & I did squeeze in a date night last week. We went and saw "To Save A Life". It was a little depressing, but did make us think about how important our influence on others can be. We did get groceries that night, but it was late and there's only so much I can remember! So...the valentines that you tear apart, write on and fold, give away, then shortly trash were not on the agenda. It's pitiful, I know. However, I made a strong recovery by baking sugar cookies, decorating with Royal Icing and wrapping in clear cellophane. I would rather get a cookie than a card any day. I only hope that 3-6 graders feel the same.

There is something coming up at our church that we are really looking forward to; we are going to celebrate a Passover Seder. The man, Joel, that will be guiding us in the Seder was brought up by his Jewish mother and atheist father-and man does he have a testimony. We are looking forward to learning this Jewish custom and all that it signifies. He told us that he would email us recipes...I am afraid we are not very kosher.

Tomorrow I head to Santa Fe with our school superintendent and other board members for a school board conference. I find these conferences to be rather, uh, hard to sit through. But, it's my job and it's what I do, for the kids. I think I would rather have the cookies.

Blizzard 10'

2010-01-28T10:53:00.000-08:00

to the left is the highway

I hope this doesn't discourage any of my blog buddies from coming to visit us in the country someday! This isn't our typical winter weather. I am pretty sure this is the kind of blizzard written about in "Little House on the Prairie"; the one with howling winds and blowing snow that stings your eyes. These pictures were all taken by the neighbor at the post office. I can't believe she even went outside to snap them in the chilling wind! Of course, in dutiful postal fashion,I came to work. It takes a while for the highway dept. to come clear our roads, as I-40 is top priority. I am only hoping and praying that I make it home and not by Clyde having to come get me in the tractor!

His Mercies are New Every Morning

2010-01-14T10:24:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! I think we can say it is still "new", even though we are 2 weeks in at this point. Honestly, I think the saying should be, "Happy New Day!". "It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. 23 They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23.

Our year began with the whole family being on a gluten-free diet, due to test results Macey had gotten with our primary care doctor, revealing that she has an allergy to gliadin. He really believed that she has celiac disease. It was a little stressful through the holidays making sure that she didn't get ANY gluten, because a celiac cannot have gluten ever, at all, for life. I would say that the family has adapted well.

This week we took Macey to a GI specialist, as we wanted to verify our primary doctor's findings. When the Dr. came into the exam room he was looking at her chart and he said, "She doesn't have this". We were both very surprised, because she has exhibited many of the, somewhat elusive, symptoms. He told us he would retest all of her labs and in addition do an intestinal biopsy. Which will be more conclusive than blood work. We left his office feeling a little conflicted. He said Macey can go off the GF diet until we know more...the thing is, she felt better (not 100%) on the diet. So, basically we let her choose. She wants to stay on the gf diet until we know more. Ah, smart girl! Biopsy is scheduled for February.

On the home front: our house is finally getting close to being finished. Someday maybe I can process all the struggles that wanting a "thing" has caused. God has taught us tremendous lessons through this; I hope I never forget them and "return to Egypt". We had a trim crew almost complete trim last week. Today we are going to pick up our custom cabinets. Clyde and I will be poly-ing them this weekend, to save some money. Hopefully next week the cabinet guy will be here to install them!

Christmas 2009 on the Slopes

2009-12-31T08:03:00.000-08:00

Marshmallow roasting

Hyewhan, Macey, Dawson

Hyewhan was my SIL's exchange student from South Korea.

We consider her a part of our family; this is her 3rd Christmas with us! She is currently attending HS in Chicago. She asked that we pray she can go to a US college.

Taherai (our neice) & Blake playing string games

Christmas Recap

2009-12-29T09:14:00.001-08:00

The holidays, in many ways, were a new experience this year with Macey's newly diagnosed celiac disease. For right now it is a lot of our focus and attention as we learn to live gluten-free. Macey is feeling some better, not 100% yet, hopefully that will come with time and careful attention to her diet. Our whole household will be going GF at home; all of the gluten is already gone for the most part, anything with gluten is marked with a big X.

Here are some of the things we did to avoid gluten contamination during the holidays:

emailed teachers to let them know what items are "safe/unsafe" foods.

Macey read labels of every goody given to her (provided by a teacher) before consuming and gave away the rest to friends.

Did not eat/bring home anything homemade (sorry), it was re-gifted.

Immediately re-gifted all food items containing gluten, which was most all.

avoided church Christmas brunch (and Jesus birthday cake), for this year, until we can figure this out (didn't want Macey to sit in the corner alone).

took GF food to family Christmas, even though my SIL tried to accommodate.

"helped" in the kitchen at family Christmas, so I made sure our food from home and safe foods were not contaminated (caught butter, with crumbs, about to be put in the corn).

cooked all meals at the cabin for our Christmas ski trip, it was easier than I thought, but did require some pre-planning.

We did have a wonderful Christmas at Sipapu Ski Resort. The kids all took ski/snowboard lessons the first day. I took a lesson too, because it had been so long since I had been on the slopes, and had an awesome time! My girls were hitting intermediate slopes with their aunt by day 2, it was amazing to watch them be so graceful and confident. My boys snowboarded. Blake did really well for a first-timer and Dawson was a blast to watch, it melted my heart. Dawson was brave enough to ride the chair-life up with me and Clyde and board down! I'll post some pictures later when I have a minute to upload. Blessings to all and Happy New Year!

Finding the Perfect Tree

2009-12-14T14:49:00.000-08:00

We still cut our own Christmas tree every year, on family property. It's really important and special to my kids, they love it! I have fun too, but I am thankful for a strong son that is now able to help carry the tree back up the hill.

In Times Like These

2009-12-10T11:03:00.000-08:00

~Picture by Priscilla Hazen, November 09'

UPDATED TO ADD: We found out that Dawson does NOT have an allergy to gluten, so far only Macey.

Today playing is my head is the song, "Praise You in This Storm" by Casting Crowns. I posted the picture of Dawson because it is a picture of how I feel inside. I praise the Lord, not because of my circumstances or where I am, but because of who God is. He is God and our job is to make his name famous. Here is the quote from Casting Crown's website as the inspiration for the song:
"If there ever were a test of our faith - if there ever were a test of the motives of our worship - it is when a storm rolls into our lives. We watched and prayed for a precious little girl named Erin Edwards struggle with a deadly disease for several years. The courage, the witness, and the worship of Erin's mother Laurie inspired this song. Sometimes God calms our storms. Sometimes He chooses to ride them with us".Romans 8:28

I love that God allows us the opportunity to flex our faith, it lets us know that, indeed, it is real and He is real. For today, God is riding the storm with us, no, He is in control of the storm and we are riding it with Him, playing in the leaves!

Back in October Macey was sick and we didn't know what was wrong. We thought we had it figured out only to have her continuing to be sick off and on, mostly constant nausea. We went to a new doctor who was absolutely determined to figure out what was wrong. He ran tests (CT, blood work) and more tests. Finally, this past Tuesday we got a call that she is allergic to gliadin, a protein of gluten. On her chart he hand penned, "likely this is celiac", "treatment is gluten-free diet". On Wednesday, after a heavy diet of wheat products before the call on Tuesday, Macey came down with fever and a horrible itchy, red rash all over her body. Probably an allergic reaction. It was awful. Clyde took her, with her rash, and Dawson, for blood tests, to the doctor, because Dawson has also exhibited mild symptoms of what we now know is celiac disease in Macey. I was thinking, "I don't think I can handle much more, Lord". I cleaned out my pantry and fridge of most unsafe gluten-containing products , including the ranch dressing, soy sauce and miracle whip, and went to bed exhausted, wondering how the wheat farmer's wife will effectively manage a daughter with a severe allergy to wheat. "I lift my eyes unto the hills Where does my help come from?My help comes from the Lord. The Maker of Heaven and Earth."(Praise You in This Storm, Casting Crowns).

I rested well until 3:30 AM, when the phone rang. At our house, a 3 AM phone call typically means bad news. It was Clyde's sister calling to tell us that their dad had passed away. This was not a shock, he was 83 years old and in fair health, at best. Still, it was a surprise as he was not hospitalized, rather he was home and had a good day yesterday. I told you we would need our friends, just did not realize it would be so very soon. Today I know my friends are praying for our family as we prepare to say goodbye to the man whom I can thank for fathering and loving a son, whom I was privileged to marry. "As the thunder rolls I barely hear You whisper through the rain“I’m with you”And as Your mercy falls,I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away." (Praise You in This Storm, Casting Crowns).

I will praise you in this storm, I will lift my hands for you are who you are, no matter where I am. Every tear I've cried you hold in your hand, you never left my side and though my heart is torn, I will praise you in this storm. (Casting Crowns)

Grace in the Gospel

2009-12-07T13:44:00.000-08:00

I recently got caught in a conversation about a guy that married a girl who, at the time, was expecting a baby, which was coincidentally not the guy's child. The person I was talking to said, "what kind of guy would marry a girl that was pregnant with someone else's baby?" Yes, I know it sounds like an afternoon talk show. As I thought about this situation a little more, in my car driving again, God whispered to me, "Joseph would".

"But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost." Matthew 1:20

I May Not Be Good at This

2009-12-03T07:32:00.000-08:00

There was a sad occurrence in our community this past Sunday. A 47-year-old husband, father of 4, son, brother and friend passed away suddenly from an apparent heart attack. He was a healthy and active rancher. I always admired the fact that when he was working he would park several feet from where he needed to go and walk those extra steps. Naturally his death has been a huge shock to his family and to our community. There are some things in life, although real, are just not acceptable. God is sovereign.

Yesterday Clyde wanted to go see the family to convey our condolences. I admit that I lean toward being somewhat socially shy, especially in awkward situations. At first I tried to discourage Clyde, but God nudged me, like he always does, and I agreed to go. My primary love language is gifts, not gifts FOR me rather gifts FROM me, and since I left straight from work I took 2 cases of soda I had on hand, something I would certainly appreciate if I had a crowd at my house. When we arrived the family was finalizing funeral service details with the pastor. Before the pastor left we had the privilege of praying together with the family in a circle holding hands. Then I hugged every immediate family member and said the only thing I knew to say, "I am so sorry". We have all likely been in this place of grief and yet we bristle at the thought of touching, too closely, those who are in the immediate throws of an uncertain sea. For me it brings up, all too freshly, those feelings of my own journey of grief from when my mama died when I was 21. It is a journey I will never fully depart from until I leave this life. Years and time really don't lessen grief, it just makes it further away.

My point is, given the opportunity, embrace those in grief. Yes, it is uncomfortable and hard. And no, it never gets easier. The love of Christ is needed the most when the hurt of humanity is the greatest. I may not be good at this, but with the Lord's help I will carry those in grief as best as I can, for when I need carried they will be there for me.

A Day for a Birthday

2009-12-01T07:09:00.000-08:00

Shaylee turned 11 on November 18th! To celebrate we had a skating party (something I scored very reasonably through a local online auction). We had 19 skaters and everyone had a fun time!

No skating party is complete without the "Hokey Pokey".

Thanksgiving

2009-11-30T07:33:00.000-08:00

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving in Carlsbad (my hometown) with my dad, Tom, his sweet wife Teresa and my granny Jean. As is custom the food was amazing and the company even better. The highlight of the trip was when Clyde took all of our kids to the park to play and I stayed back at the house with my granny. We each laid on a sofa and talked, like girlfriends. My granny is 79. She told me that I knew what I was doing when I picked my husband...to which I responded that it was God who knew what He was doing! Then she shared the love story of her and my grandad. I knew right then that I was living in a sweet moment that I would remember forever.

Diaper Cake

2009-11-09T10:57:00.000-08:00

Here is my first attempt at a diaper cake. It is for a baby shower I am helping hostess for some friends. I have seen diaper cakes where all the diapers were rolled and rubber banded individually. I thought that would hinder the use of the diapers, since mommies are usually working with one hand! I just rubber banded the diapers in a general round shape instead. Since it is a boy I wanted to minimize the "frou frou" and stick to a clean design. I almost forgot...the cost for this gift: $25.00. This includes diapers, snuggle blanket bear, baby socks (2nd pair is tucked into cake), wood decor and ribbon.

Weekend in Pictures...and Words

2009-11-03T07:18:00.000-08:00

Fall festival did not disappoint! It was another fun year with our friends and family. I got all my cakes, cupcakes and pies finished for the cake walk...and in the end no one in my family won one dessert! Clyde did buy a raspberry cheesecake at the pie auction, so we still brought home sweets. Our concession stand made some money, but by the time we cleaned the dishes and school kitchen we were too tired to count the money. The money goes to the class fund, so that in their 11th grade year they can host the prom for the seniors. They will do more community fund raisers and their senior year they will take a trip (or split the cash among the class for college expenses). It's a tradition! Another tradition is the 3rd and 4th grade class ring toss; where the kids toss hoops onto 20 oz soda bottles and win the soda. A mom suggested that next year we provide rain coats for opening the cokes. Later the teacher told me the Dawson came to class dragging his 6-pack of sodas behind him and that 2 sodas were no longer on the plastic rings...hmmm, I wonder whose sodas spewed!

This year at Fall Festival we had a new face painting booth:

Another fun new booth was, "Decorate your own cupcake":
Saturday Blake had practice for National 4H Family and Consumers Science Contest, which will be held in Denver in January. We decided since we were in town that we would go to First Baptist Church Fall Carnival. We had never been and it was a blast! There were games, food and door prizes for the adults. We won a gift certificate for a family size pasta from Pizza H*ut. So, we ordered some pizzas and our pasta and headed home to Trick or Treat at some of our generous neighbors. So many of them look forward to our coming by because they never have visitors. I loved it this year that when we got to a friends house they told the kids that they wondered where they were (we ran later than usual because of the carnival). How sweet is that?

It's pretty astonishing to me that we visit less than 10 houses and come home with this:

Shaylee plans to do an "I spy" with this picture:

A Busy House is a Happy House

2009-10-29T09:57:00.000-07:00

We must be very, very happy! This time of year really is my favorite, it is the beginning of what I like to call "family season". It is when we take time out to really visit and be with our families and friends.

Tomorrow night is our annual Fall Festival at school, when all of the community gathers for a night of old-fashioned carnival style games and family bingo! This year Blake's 10th grade class is in charge of the concession stand. We will be serving barbecue brisket on a bun, hot dogs, nachos, Frito pie and homemade desserts. All of the classes at our school are very small (the largest being 12 students, which is 5-6th grades combined), so every family has a big role in making sure the Fall Festival is a success. I will be bringing many desserts for the concession and cake walk! I started making the desserts last night. I baked a chocolate cake, 12 jumbo red velvet cupcakes and a brownie to make brownie pizza. My kids weren't too happy about not partaking in the goodies, but I did let them lick several spoons/bowls, etc. This reminds me of a school paper I recently found in Dawson's desk. It had a writing prompt that said, "My House..." and he wrote, "smells like food." This mama's pride did swell.

Hopefully tonight I can finish all of my baking, because I need to be at the school right after work tomorrow for set up. Today is the costume parade at school. The elementary students dress up and parade onto the school stage, it is so cute! Then the senior class gives every child an award and some candy; the awards are silly, "the roughest toughest cowboy" or "the most fair sparkly princess". While the kids wait for the awards they get to tell silly/dumb home made (hehe) jokes, usually something about what the skeleton said to the mummy!

Such good times, such sweet memories.

He Really Knows Me

2009-10-27T08:18:00.000-07:00

On my drive to work this morning I was thinking about really knowing people, or for that matter, really knowing myself. Probably a result of too much Face*Book and seeing people's lives in clips of perfection. It brought a memory to mind from a long time ago...

I was a curious and exploring girl of about 11. One afternoon I climbed the ladder into our attic. It was a mystical place where you had to consider every step. I had been there before, but my curiosity wasn't strong enough to battle spider webs and dusty breaths, so in the past I escaped as quickly as I'd arrived. This time was different, especially after I'd spotted the trunk. It was wooden, covered in embossed silvery tin and it was very old. The lid creaked as I unhinged the latch and carefully lifted the lid. No amount of dragging would take me away this time. Inside was another world, one I did not know existed;one before me, but I quickly discovered that my parents had been there before. There were old dimly colored photographs, a stack of white scalloped-edge wedding napkins imprinted with a date in gold lettering, a shiny silver cigarette lighter and a stack of opened letters neatly stacked and tied with a satin purple ribbon. Some items were curious like the lighter,my dad had never been a smoker, and the date on the napkins wasn't my parents wedding anniversary. Hmmm. After I placed everything safely back in it's place in the trunk I gingerly stepped back down the ladder. I had a new mission: to find out who's trunk was in our attic! Of course, this meant admitting to my mama that I had been in the attic "snooping", but surely she wouldn't mind my discovery of this treasure. I went to her and explained all my magnificent finds, first the lighter, to whom did it belong? She shared with me that while my daddy was in Vietnam he had started smoking and that the lighter was my daddy's from back then, but that he quit "cold turkey" when they met, because he knew my mama didn't like that habit. Well then what about those fancy napkins, with the peculiar date? That's when my mama told me that she and daddy had planned a huge gala of a wedding, complete with setting a date and buying the imprinted napkins. Then my daddy, who had recently gotten home from Vietnam, found a job out of state. This meant my mama and daddy would be apart for a while until the wedding and they couldn't stand that thought, so they just got married. No fancy wedding, no big cake, no need for all those napkins. That explains those people I don't know in the picture with you and daddy and a preacher with a Bible. What about those letters tied with purple ribbon? They were all the correspondence between my mama and daddy from the first day they met until they married. I found out the trunk and all it's contents were indeed ours, including the dried carnation corsage and the college prom picture of my mama with some other guy.

Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:
and see if [there be any] wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
Psalm 139:23-24

Where We Wash Part 2-ish

2009-10-22T14:36:00.000-07:00

Here are just a few pictures of the headway we are making on our home. First the shower that I finally finished grouting this weekend. The next step is for Clyde to install shower doors. The tub I tiled/grouted in the same bathroom. The next step is to install a bead board tub skirt.And finally, my laundry room sink, all installed. This came from my grandparents ranch house...in which they never had running water! My grandmother had a plastic tub that she put in the sink bowl where she washed dishes with water hauled in from the windmill and heated on the stove. I am overwhelmed at the goodness of our God and his provision of strength. I only dreamed we would get to this point in our house building. There were days that I thought we couldn't do anymore. Clyde ordered all of the trim today-1/4 mile of floor trim. We press on.

Pictures from ENM State Fair

2009-10-16T20:52:00.000-07:00

Macey Update

2009-10-16T19:08:00.000-07:00

Thanks for praying for Macey. She has really been feeling better the last couple of days. We did go ahead and take her for a second opinion, to a bone-joint specialist. We found out that she has Patellofemoral Pain Syndrome: it is an overuse syndrome related to excessive stress and minor alignment abnormalities usually in the knee joint and kneecap. In Macey's case her kneecaps go to the outside of her knee slightly when her legs are bent; which until today I never noticed. She started playing volleyball this year, which aggravated her knees and in turn caused issues with her ankles too (tendinitis). Finally, her body screamed "enough" through pain and nausea. The good news is this can be treated with physical therapy and use of knee braces during physical activity. I am so thankful for a bright and astute doctor that knew exactly what was going on.

This Sums It Up

2009-10-08T18:09:00.001-07:00

I am writing this tonight, while I am still a bit emotionally tangled in this day. I don't want to forget God's provision for me today, not ever. So today I went for my mammogram, driving 6 hours roundtrip to Lubbock Wellness. The mammogram went as expected, and honestly it is not that big of a deal. I also had blood drawn for another test. The BRCA1 and BRCA2: Cancer Risk and Genetic Testing. I did it after a year of thinking about whether or not I really wanted to know my cancer risk. The thought process went something like: "will it matter if I have a greatly increased risk for breast or ovarian cancer?", "what can I do about it anyway?", "can't God just make all of this go away?" Eventually after a lot of praying, thinking, considering...I decided that if God had provided the technology and there is the ability to gather information about my health then I should take the genetic test. My hopes are: of course, that I don't have the BRCA genes in the first place, but if I do I can be very proactive and pass that attitude and information on to my children. So why did I take the test? Because my sweet mama was diagnosed with breast cancer (already in the lymph nodes) at age 39. At 44 she went home to Jesus. Which brings me to the provision I had today.

The BRCA test is a simple 1 vial blood draw. No big deal right? So the nurse seats me in the "poking chair" and I get ready for the stick in my inner elbow. Only, there are 2 nurses: one expert and one trainee. I should have warned them more strongly that the last few times I have had a blood draw it has caused me to be very light headed (I haven't fainted yet). But of course I didn't because I am stubborn and try to act tough. Any way, the training nurse poked me and naturally didn't get in the vain. As she was "fishing around" I feel myself fading out and then I get really sick to my stomach, as in "pass me the trash can sick", which has never happened in this situation. The other nurse gently told the one poking me to pull out. At this point they know I need to lay down. I lay down and they get me a cool wash cloth. I am clammy and sick. The head nurse sits down at the bottom of the bed and takes my hand and holds it. It felt like my mama was there holding my hand and I started to feel better. Eventually, after I "lost my fries" they were able to get the blood. From which the test will come back in about 2 weeks. The head nurse asked me if I was there with someone, I said, "no I came alone". As I was leaving the Holy Spirit gently reminded me that I did have someone there with me, that He is always there with me, it's just sometimes he uses people to help me remember.

Country Autumn

2009-10-02T10:11:00.000-07:00

Fall ranks as one of my very favorite times of year. The color of the sky, the cool, mellow weather, having to add a quilt to the bed because of cool nights. Here is a little hint of fall from the country to you.

a beginning dry land crop of hard red winter wheat, it will be green all winter.

Field grass gone to rest.

The occasional lonely little tree showing it's golden splendor.
Happy Fall y'all!

It's Probably Just Me

2009-10-01T11:03:00.001-07:00

I finally called to get a haircut appointment today. I always, ALWAYS wait too long. There is this 'hair stage' between "Cut not long ago" and "I can't stand it anymore" that is bliss. It happens about 4 weeks after a haircut for me;when I finally figure out how to get my hair to behave and look like I actually care, then my hair promptly becomes unmanageable! Oh well.

My haircut dilemma is only proof that I do not do well with regular scheduling. I try to act like I enjoy routines, but I really don't. I am not good at anything that involves me doing something on a very regular schedule (like taking vitamins or regularly charging my cell phone). I do not do mundane well. Which is really not such a problem around my house-things stay pretty exciting around here! Of course, work, homework and hungry children keep me in line.

Next week my crazy not-so-scheduled schedule includes my annual mammogram. I wanted to mention this to remind all my girlfriends to please take the time to get an annual mammogram. Through a dear friend, I found a fantastic Wellness Clinic in Lubbock that does "walk in" mammography appointments (and has state of the art equipment). Not having to schedule an appointment is totally my style. Plus, they have chocolate... No matter where you live there are great facilities all over the nation, just go do it, okay!

Sunday School Lesson on Exodus 35

2009-09-25T17:47:00.000-07:00

I am going to be teaching the adult Sunday school class at my church this week. I've never felt that teaching was my gift, but I am a willing volunteer (or sucker?). A reason to be glad our numbers are small. We have been trekking through the book of Exodus, using the Bible and group discussion. In addition the teacher uses an exegesis type book. That's it. I am basically on my own. So I am going to post my thought process and how I am going to probably present this lesson on Sunday. Hopefully the class will lend their insight also!

Exodus Chapter 35

Chapters 1-3
These verses are a charge from Moses to the Israelites that they must observe the Sabbath. Chapter 3 specifically commands them not to light a fire in any dwelling.
I am thinking, first: why was not lighting a fire specifically mentioned? Could it be symbolic that the only 'light' would be that of God's temple? That they could not light a fire in their own 'dwelling' as a foreshadowing of the Holy Spirit?
According to this link there is only one Hebrew word for the word 'fire', written ASh in Hebrew."A, aleph, often refers to "God," and Sh, shin, infers "bringing forth, or birth." So the distilled definition for the word ASh, "fire," might be rendered, "The birth of God in us". (Sterling D. Allan) http://www.greaterthings.com/Word-Number/Gospel/fire.html

So, maybe I am on the right track...don't want to spend the whole class here, but isn't that exciting! God wants us to rely on Him to be our "Fire", while we rest.

Chapters 4-19
Moses conveys to the Israelite people that they are to bring an offering to the Lord in the form of gifts for the Tabernacle. I interpret this as an offering, not a tithe or atonement offering, rather a gift. They are to bring from what they have been given, including their skills (v. 10) to make goods for the tabernacle.
This reminds me of 1 Peter 4:10 "Based on the gift they have received, everyone should use it to serve others, as good managers of the varied grace of God."
Although there is a lot about the tabernacle in these chapters, it is more about logistics (as in the management of the building of the tabernacle), not specifics (as found in Exodus 26).

This is a picture of the wonderful sovereignty of God; that we have been chosen to fulfill a specific role in God's masterful grand scheme. Those who cannot provide tangible offerings are equipped with gifts of skill and service.

Chapters 20-29
These verses tell us how the words from Moses moved the Israelites into action. It is evidence of their readiness and willingness to serve the Lord.Verse 21 really spoke to me: " Everyone whose heart was moved and whose spirit prompted him came and brought an offering to the Lord to construct the tent of meeting for every use, and [to make] the holy garments"(HCSB). Whoa! "Those whose hearts were moved" acted on it as "prompted by their spirit". The indwelling Holy Spirit was not on the scene yet, but the Lord allowed them to be moved by the spirit. There are many more details about what the people worked at and what they brought to the cause of the tabernacle of the Lord.

God moved the hearts of the people into action through a spiritual prompting according to their gifts. The goods and services that they came with were not a reconciliation attempt with God (not equated with other accounts of offerings, like atonement);rather they were gifts provided for the work the Israelites were commanded to do as spoken through Moses concerning the tabernacle. So...when God prompts us in heart/spirit to do something, he will provide whatever it is we need to do what he is asking.

Chapters 30-35
In these last verses of Exodus 35 God specifically calls out two men, Bezalel of the tribe of Judah and Oholiab of the tribe of Dan, both gifted in all sorts of craftsmanship, design, skill and teaching. The Lord names them as master craftsmen; putting them in a gifted leadership role. Note verse 31,"He has filled him (Bezalel) with God's Spirit, with wisdom, understanding, and ability in every kind of craft"(HCSB).My thoughts on this...You can't teach someone else how to do something unless you've done it yourself! haha!

God will always provide for the needs of His plan. He is not a God of confusion. Through his sovereignty there is organization and a 'plan'. He provides teachers that practice their God given gifts.If a teachers is not practicing their "master craftsmanship" (as in bearing the fruit of the faith), then it is very likely they are a false teacher; not filled with the spirit of God. Also, we should respect those in whom we are charged, they have a great deal of God-given ability to share with us, if we are willing to learn.

Well, that's all I have. If you have anything to add or disagree, etc. please post me a comment!

Why Everyone Asked Where We Were From...

2009-09-18T07:15:00.000-07:00

It took me a little while to think this incident from our vacation was funny, now I have to share.

Day 3 of our vacation we returned to Silver Dollar City (we had 3-day passes) with the determination that we would attempt to hit all 30 attractions. Our strategy was to ride the big roller coasters first since they are very popular and tend to have long lines later in the day. We got right on and were done quickly-Check! While we were at roller coasters Blake took Dawson to the kiddy rides. Result: a happy non-rider and a happy little brother-Check! Things were looking...shall I say, "perfect"?

We paused to watch a really cool magic show, at the end of which the gospel was presented. Then we decided to head for the next set of 'big rides', all incidentally involving water. Clyde wisely presented his position for this decision: #1: the lines are not long right now. #2: if we do happen to get a little wet, we will dry;after all it is almost midday. #3: We can spend our afternoon watching shows. Okay, sounded reasonable to me...

Arriving at Waterworks Waterboggan we discovered that the ride was having 'technical difficulties'. Yes, it was a sign. But we are not superstitious, so we waited. The teens behind us were in swimsuits and shorts, Yes, another sign. But we are not chicken, so we waited some more. We did discuss giving up and leaving, but we were at the front on the line for Pete's sake and we did not want to compromise our position. Finally, after 20 minutes in dog years we were launched! And, as you have already guessed, as we walked away water literally squished from our shoes. We got very, very soaked. All of us. I had to go to the restroom and ring out my underwear and my shorts. Then it was on to Lost River of the Ozarks. Another short wait in line and a sign that said, "yes you will GET WET, BATHTUB WET". Ha! I laugh in the face of such warnings! This raft ride didn't live up to it's exorbitant warning and we only got slightly (more) damp. The best part was that the line to enter and exit are parallel to one another. So as we were leaving the ride, drenched from the other ride, we got to pass all the people entering. I noticed some people staring at us and looking a little apprehensive, then it dawned on me what a sight we were and that made me smile.

By this time the littles were getting hungry. So we fed all of us, but it was nothing to 'write home about', but that might have been more about my current disposition. We were all still very drippy and cold. As we were leaving I noticed Dawson walking like an exaggerated bow-legged cowboy. It became apparent that he was getting a rash. Did you know that in 70-degree weather at 60% humidity clothes don't dry? Well, they don't. So after much debate, and admitted grumpiness on my part, we decided to give up and go to the hotel. Losing the majority of our afternoon to the comfort of dry clothing and shows via satellite TV in every room. Not what I had in mind when Clyde said, "spend the afternoon watching shows".

Just Kids

2009-09-14T14:46:00.000-07:00

It's that Dawson...again! Blake and Dawson were playing a video game this weekend. By accident Dawson hit a button that shut off the game, thus ending Blake's reign of success. Blake began chasing Dawson trying to wrestle him and tickle him and Dawson was saying, "sorry! sorry! sorry!" To which Clyde said, "Dawson, tell him you didn't mean it." So Dawson said, "Blake I didn't mean it, I'm not sorry!"

Just A Day in The Life...

2009-09-08T13:21:00.000-07:00

Blake bought some iron keys as a souvenir at Silver Dollar City and
they made the perfect prop!

Silver Dollar City, Branson, MO

The weekend was long, but never long enough! Life is back in full swing for us; my family actually had school yesterday on Labor Day, since they have every friday off. I was home alone...and what did I do on Labor Day? I labored! My bathtub is now tiled and grouted (actually tiled the night before). I need to touch up paint around the tile and then I can take pictures to post. Besides the grouting I cleaned out all kitchen cabinets and got rid of 'stuff', this is done much more easily without people standing behind me saying, "aw, I remember that mug, so and so gave it to me for...". I ended with 3 boxes of giveaway and 3 trash bags of kitchen items that met the, "never/rarely use, broken, or don't want" criteria. Then I put a roast, potatoes and carrots in the crock pot and baked homemade bread. Last night I could not figure out why I was so tired!

Journey to His Dream

2009-09-03T07:59:00.000-07:00

I don't even know how to start this blog post; as unusual at it is my words are all jumbled up and caught in my throat! Just want to share what we are trying to process right now in a way that will make a semblence of sense. First I started to feel a little vibration, then the boat started to gently sway, now it is in a full tilt rock. I may just fall out!

Really, it all started when I was young. A child. My mother would say, "I wish I could open an orphanage and care for the little children." This, of course, never happened, but her speaking those words of compassion tempered my tender heart. At age 13, at my home church, a missions trip was being planned to Mexico. In a still small voice God spoke and told me, "Go". I replied, "What Lord? Me? I am just a kid. I don't have the money (it cost about $1,500)." The coordinator of the trip ended his request with, "There is a sign up sheet in the foyer. Write your name on it if you feel called to go". I signed the sign up sheet that day. When we got home for lunch I told my parents. They were a little hesitant, but told me that they would support my decision. This meant writing a letter to the Mexican consulate (easy part) and allowing me, their young daughter, to go to a communist country without them (hard part). When I got to church services that night I learned that the sheet where I had written my name now had , "sponsored" written next to it. My way had been anonymously paid in full.

The trip was the beginning of me grasping poverty. I remember coming home and realizing that although humble our home was a mansion and that we lived liked kings. I went on a second mission trip to Mexico when I was 15. These opportunities molded my life in a big way; however, somewhere along this road called 'life' I have quite frankly gotten tangled in the mess of STUFF. And when that happens then 'stuff' and 'things' become the top priority. But God, in his infinite grace has been drawing me. It recently started with a friend pointing me to a series of sermons by David Platt called, "The Radical series" . Listen to, "The Gospel Demands Radical Giving" and allow God to totally rock your world. These sermons caused me to ask God to show me what he wanted me to do. Then Lesli had a link to a blog written by Katie, a young woman that has literally left everything in the US to graciously and radically care for orphans in Uganda, Africa. Katie's BLOG has broken my heart for the people of Uganda. Read the post from August 26th. If this does not burden Jesus Followers for the cause of the poor, then there is something devastatingly wrong in the church. "Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world." James 1:27.

So now my challenge is: how do I process all of this? And how can I make sense of this in my life today? My instant reaction is to behave like I did initially when I was 13, asking ,"What Lord? Me?". Only my excuses are fresh and there are many more; I have allowed myself to become so much more tangled in the world. Lesli did a post very similar to this one and I like what she said about this exact subject before I could bare my heart, "What are we supposed to do? This isn't spelled out to us in the Word because I think God wants us to do some serious wrestling with Him and some serious losing of our dreams, goals, ideas and STUFF!"
I have no idea what God is going to do with this in our lives. We are in the midst of 'wrestling' this out and prayerfully seeking Him. I know that I want to be different. I want to be changed. I am not going to walk away from this call the same person and I don't want to.

The Trouble with Change

2009-09-01T10:52:00.000-07:00

Indian paint brush

It seems to me that there is a lot of change going on around me lately: our pastor resigning to pastor another church, my kids entering new levels of school (HS and Jr High), resignation and rehire of school staff, the divorce of a couple friend. Not that change is unexpected, it is after all a part of life. The truth is I am a slow adapter. I like time to ponder the consequences, consider the options and prepare. Probably a product of the fact that I have moved towns twice, yes 2 times, in my entire life. This may or may not be a flaw in my persona. :-) I am sure as with many personality traits this is both good and bad. Good because I am constant, reliable and always here. Bad because I resist change and it affects me deeply.

In is in the atmosphere of change that faith finds its most productive soil. When trouble surrounds us and there is no hope but our God.

"I do not ask that He must prove
His Word is true to me,
And that before I can believe
He first must let me see.
It is enough for me to know
'Tis true because He says 'tis so;
On His unchanging Word I'll stand
And trust till I can understand."
-E. M. Winter (Streams in the Desert, 1965)

Where We Wash Part 1

2009-08-27T11:44:00.000-07:00

I think it is appropriate to talk about sinks today since I have gotten about 10 emails stressing the dangers of the flu and proper hand washing. Not really something I needed; since I am already paranoid and slipping into OCD from thinking about germs, thank you! As has become usual in my life, these are 'before' pictures.

The master bathroom vanity that everyone seems to have an opinion about. It is an antique oak buffet I chose online from 'Vanities of Yesteryear' in Ohio. They retrofitted the sinks and faucets and added a waterproof polyeruthane, then shipped it to me. Now, the opinions come from the fact that this buffet is standard kitchen counter height (not sink height) and some have wondered if I would want the legs cut down and I say 'NO WAY, I'd rather have to use a stool to see in the mirror'! (I won't really have to anyway!).

Retro Montogomery Ward enamel kitchen vanity, now in my laundry room. Obviously this is only the sink and not the base cabinets. This vanity unit is from my grandparents ranch house, so holds lots of sentimentality for me. We had the base sand blasted and repainted at our favorite car repair shop. It makes me happy that I can use this sink and make it a part of our home!

Vacations are for Memories

2009-08-25T12:24:00.000-07:00

Our vacation to Branson, MO was amazingly smooth and very relaxing; something you know is rare if you know us at all! Usually there is some big catastrophe, hospital visit or accident (like visiting the Anaheim, CA ER for an acute ear infection or 'losing' our train tickets and subsequently discovering that they were for the previous day). Which honestly, make much funnier memories later.

While we were in Branson we went on the Branson Belle Showboat. Included were dinner, entertainment and a cruise on Table Rock Lake. The entertainment was comedy, a magic show, then a repertoire of famous Broadway and show tunes (Phantom of the Opera, Mama Mia, etc). It was a fun time!

Here we all are. It is weird that I am becoming the short person in our family, not that it's saying much! A nice passer-by took this picture (I love the south); I should have told Clyde to take off his cap so we could see his face, but hey, this is as good as it gets-6 smiling faces in one frame!

He is Enough

2009-08-21T12:02:00.000-07:00

I am in the midst of what has been a tough week:
things at work have been very stressful, I feel like my memory is failing me because it has this week (I've already been told 'join the club' thank you!) and then Clyde's best ranch hand, our sweet and hard working dog of 12 years, Rainey died. And let's not even go into this week's 'house stress'. I found myself saying, "I wonder what is going to happen next, as if that weren't enough!" Of course, yesterday by providence God brought me to James 1:2-3 "Dear brothers, is your life full of difficulties and temptations? Then count it all pure joy, for when the way is rough, your perseverance has a chance to grow." Add to that: my mail carrier came in this morning sharing how he heard a sermon last night on...James 1. Yes,Lord?
Later I hopped over to read a favorite blog A Penchant for Pens and she so eloquently echoed my heart and blessed me. This is what she had to say:

"Just as I was saying the words "as if they weren't enough," God quickened my spirit to the words of a song we sing at Passover. It's called "Dayenu," which means "it would have been enough." The song is upbeat, a prep to the hallel (praise) section of the haggadah during the seder. The words recount God's miracles to Israel. The Jews say, "it would have been enough if God had only taken us out of Egypt, but he parted the Red Sea. It would have been enough if He had parted the Red Sea, and not drowned the Egyptians behind us. It would have been enough if He had punished the Egyptians but not led us through the wilderness."After singing 15 stanzas of "it would have been enough," one's heart can't help but have praise for God.So I determined that I would come up with 15 stanzas (okay, one-liners) to help me see my car and canine problems from a posture of thanks and praise."

In her same spirit I am going to write a "it would have been enough for us" or a "Dayenu":

1) If God had only given us an ordinary dog not a smart ranch hand, it would have been enough.
2) If God had only given us Rainey for a little while, it would have been enough.
3) If God were the only one to love us, it would have been enough.
4) If God had only made me an employee not a manager, it would have been enough.
5) If God had only given me a place to lie down and not my own home, it would have been enough.
6) If I only had a daughter to tell me all about Junior High, it would have been enough.
7) If God had only given me a mind and not a life full of memories, it would have been enough.
8) If God had given us basic lighting and electricity, it would have been enough.
9) If God gave us running water, it would have been enough.
10) If God had only given us one bathroom, it would have been enough.
11) If God had only given me a son that needs a tip-toe hug, it would have been enough.
12) If God had given us only dried ground and never a crop, it would have been enough.
13) If God had only given me a daughter that does her homework during recess, it would have been enough.
14) If God had only given me a son that loves to cuddle, it would have been enough.
15) If God had given me a husband that didn't know how to build a house, fix a fence, drive a tractor and use a shovel, it would have been enough.
Praise the Lord!

Kids Bathroom Peek

2009-08-18T09:51:00.000-07:00

A little peek into the kids bathroom. This is my first ever tile project. Still need to grout the tile. While designing this bathroom I had several goals in mind: I wanted it to be a fun space, a space that is appropriate for all ages, an easy to clean space and include colors that relate to water (river, ocean) and coordinate, but were different (so that each vanity room that flanks this shower room has its own color). I also wanted a striped wall, I knew this would instantly add a fun element! We'll just call this the 'before picture'. I'll share the 'after picture' when we get the burst of energy to finish this room!

River Rock Hearth Part 3

2009-08-17T07:23:00.000-07:00

A fossil rock we found while hauling rocks.

Finally, the vision we had for our hearth is reality. We're hoping the cedar wood cures to a nice woody brown color (right now it is very red). The next step is to set our wood stove, chosen for its efficiency and because we have sometimes been without electricity in the winter due to weather related outages. This house is all electric. One winter we did not have electricity for 3 days! Thankfully, we had a wood stove that we heated with and cooked on. I might be a little bit country~ha ha!

Relative or Not

2009-08-14T09:49:00.000-07:00

While in Branson we went to Silver Dollar City amusement park. Shaylee begged for a frozen lemonade from the moment we arrived, but due to riding roller coasters and trying to get to shows it was the third day before she got her lemonade. We were on the way to a show and 'not now' was no longer an option, so I stopped at the closest street vendor, out of about 30 in the park. Obviously my eastern NM accent has gotten thick, y'all, because she asked me where we were from. I told her a nearby town name (since our town is population 86) and she said, "oh, my husband's grandmother lives there". I asked the grandmother's name (you know to be polite and interested and because I am nosey) and she told me. As it turned out, her husband is my uncle's (my dad's sister's husband) cousin. The guy happened to be at the park that day visiting her at work and I met him. So, while we are not related, we are related to the same people, haha.

So, we are home. Our fireplace rock is finished! I am going to take pictures today and post them (hopefully) Monday. Meanwhile, I gotta go finish tile.

River Rock Hearth Part 2

2009-08-07T13:47:00.000-07:00

Had to go back to the Caprock to get a backpack we left there last trip. We were just too loaded down to carry one more rock! Here are the kids yesterday taking in the view before going down and yes, Shaylee is in flip-flops and so was I! It is because we had taken a trip to town and were on the way home when Clyde suggested we run by and get the backpack.

I am a mama proud of her strong son...

Whom has this smile on his face while resting from carrying this...

That my friends is one reason we were able to gather enough rock to do this...

What a story this fireplace will have to tell!

We are going on vacation, so I will post the finished pictures of our fireplace in a couple of weeks.

River Rock Hearth Part 1

2009-08-04T09:49:00.000-07:00

The plan: rock the wall with the same rock we backpacked out of the Caprock creek bed. This will provide the hearth for our wood stove. The mantle is the center of a cedar tree, bark on, that was bought in Toas at a saw mill. The corbels are also cedar we had custom made locally. Right now the wood looks very red, but it will age to a brown color with time.

The rock will be the full height of the 17' center wall, which is way, way up there! Josh, on top of the scaffold, is about 6'1". Any volunteers? The craftsmen will be here tomorrow to begin the rock work and I can't wait to post pictures of how this turns out!

Front Porch After

2009-08-03T07:33:00.001-07:00

This is our front porch now! Clyde still has a little metal trim work to finish under the ridge, but for the most part it is finished. Closer shot of the front door and the rock we literally backpacked from the bottom of the Caprock creek bed on our family property. I cannot explain the joy I have at how well the rock and the brick match. The brick was an incentive on our house contract and was something our contractor had leftover from another house. The rocks we chose were mostly based on shape, size and if we thought it looked 'pretty'. I hope my kids remember the days of gathering rocks fondly...someday. It is about a 2 mile, fairly steep, climb down to the creek and back up. The blue stuff around the door is painters tape to protect the wooden brick mold.

Front Porch Before

2009-07-31T14:13:00.000-07:00

Just a quick picture of our front porch 'before'. The brick layers, AKA, the amazing craftsmen actually finished the porch yesterday! I got home late last night though and haven't gotten a picture yet. The guy on the ladder is our nephew Josh. The other two in the picture are the 'ranch boss' and 'deputy dog'.

Every day with this house it is 'two steps forward and one step back', but we're getting there and man am I learning a lot through this process of waiting, working and hoping! Currently, I am teaching myself how to tile our bathrooms- which I honestly am enjoying to the point of feeling guilty, because it feels a lot like fun to me, rather than actual work!

Meanwhile, I gotta go get this guy from his Papa and Nana today and then work very hard at de-spoiling him! He was at their house for a week. That is the longest he's ever been gone from his mama and daddy. At this point I might just be ready for another play session like this:

Finding Grace

2009-07-20T11:36:00.000-07:00

Seeing then that we have a great high priest...Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession. Let us come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in the time of need. Hebrews 4: 14, 16

This scripture was in my devotional this morning. It reminds me of a moment this weekend when I recalled another instance of God's grace.

We met my dad,Teresa & my granny in Roswell for the day, where we shopped, ate lunch, visited and sent the girls home with them to Carlsbad for the week. Dad reminded me that he and Teresa's 10-year anniversary is this coming week, and it brought back the memory of a time when she had not yet entered our lives. As we were checking out at Sam's, I looked over at her and was overtaken with thankfulness that my dad is blessed with such a beautiful (inside and out), godly wife. There was a time, after my mom died, almost 14 years ago, that I believed my dad would remain a widower-but we prayed, asking God to grant my dad with mercy; that he would send him a helpmate (and honestly, I prayed for someone with a similar love for God as my mother had). And he did! And she is far more than we ever dreamed. I will never forget the first day we met Teresa; Macey was 16 months old, she looked at her and said, 'Nana'!

How blessed we are to have a Father that allows us to come to Him, seeking his mercy and finding his grace in our time of need.
~photo courtesy of Macey

House Update

2009-07-17T10:47:00.000-07:00

Thank you friends and family for caring and always asking about our new house. I know some of you have said that you are 'afraid' to ask- obviously because you know this journey has been a whole lot up hill.

so here's the current status (sorry no pics this time!) :
all sheet rock and painting are complete (except a couple decorative ideas that are nagging me, oh the time...)
garage sheet rock is about 95% complete (we do not have it in us to texture or paint, maybe ever-but that is unnecessary.) , which has to be done for us to get our certificate of occupancy.
most light fixtures, ceiling fans, outlets and switches are complete (were waiting on a couple items being shipped/purchased).
still need to install kitchen cabinets (some still being custom built)
install 2 more water heaters (1 under sink in kitchen)
buy/install laundry room cabinets
finish porch cement pour and bricking (crew starting today)
tile in bathrooms (I am going to try and tackle this myself, I've never tiled)
need to install most all plumbing fixtures (commodes, vanities, faucets, etc)
hard floors are finished (cement stained and clear coated)
need to put up doors and all trim
need to carpet bedrooms
final electrical connect
electrical, plumbing, final inspections
Whew! That seems like a long list, but I have to remember how far we've come!

When we started this enormous task we truly felt God leading the way. I have journaled miraculous 'circumstances' that not only led us to take this journey, but confirmed that we were doing God's will. The struggles we have faced, were honestly expected (we are building a house afterall), but not in the way they were manifest. Making the challenge for me not worrying about how God will provide the way. In my mind I know he is providing, but I am a realist by nature-always have been. So my prayer for today is to rest in Him, knowing, it is His house and that he has brought us here to broaden our faith. Our home was planned and will be a place to worship and minister.

In all you do I want you to be free from worry. 1 Corinthians 7:32

This scripture, in context, is surrounded by words pertaining to marriage and whether one should marry or not, however, what God is saying is simply, no matter what you do, I (God) do not want you to worry. Also, v. 29: the important thing to remember is that our remaining time is very short, [and so are our opportunities for doing the Lord's work].

Chalkboard Trays

2009-07-08T13:10:00.000-07:00

These are some of the trays we began with. I bought them at the dollar store. They are the weight of a 'real' silver-plated tray. Other supplies used: chalkboard paint $8, sponge paint brushes, paper towels(for paint oops), ribbon and hot glue for hanging. We made 33 trays, making this craft about $1.50 each, but cheaper if you consider that we had a lot of paint left-over out of the quart.

We let the kids paint 'free-handed' and didn't use painters tape-accidents were easy to wipe away with a slightly damp paper towel, however, the black paint is messy and I had to really scrub my hands(I wiped mistakes).

A finished tray, with our VBS menu written on it!
These turned out super cute! I have several at home now thanks to my kids.

Not Really A Vacation

2009-07-01T07:56:00.001-07:00

Vacation Bible School is in full tilt at our place. It takes place in the evening, which is the best time for hard working moms and dads and running, sweaty kids to attend! The cool evenings make for fantastic recreation times. When I am not at VBS, I am thinking about VBS; praying for little (and big hearts) to grow closer to Christ and going over, in my mind, the projects at the 'crocodile crafts' station (making sure I remembered everything). So far our crafts have been a success. We have made VBS t-shirts with 'color me' iron-ons that the kids colored themselves with crayons. They turned out very cute and the kids were proud of what they had done. Then we made stepping stones; which was a big hit as well. Kids really love to be creative! I never have to convince any kids to stay-for or do crafts, they come eagerly ready to create- it is a blessing! Today we will make chalkboard trays (the ones I have been wanting to make)- I am a little nervous about the paint and potential mess. I remembered smocks at the last minute, so hopefully the kids will remain relatively clean. I will try to post pictures soon of our adventures!

When Your Sister is Behind the Lens

2009-06-23T13:11:00.000-07:00

I just uploaded all of Macey's pictures from the camera she got for her birthday. It has come to my attention that those around her should be careful or they may find themselves caught, not as a boy that loves is goats...

but the boy that takes a book along while he does his chores.

Not portrayed as the mighty warrior hero...

but the one who ran away from the battle. You might even be caught 'standing around' while everyone else is branding...

or worse yet, sitting around sipping lemonade!

Anyone can become a victim, especially if you make a goofy face...

Yes, it includes you too!

And Maybe I'm Just Overly Sensitive

2009-06-22T14:05:00.000-07:00

Thankfully my kids made their own Father's Day cards after first trying to look for one at the store, which we found mostly offensive. They ended up making a barbecue grill out of cardboard, with a lid, legs and a 'grill' all colored black, then they made paper 'hamburgers' with little messages inside. It was very creative and original and turned out very well.

Sunday when we got the the sanctuary there was a power point slide show on the screen, sent from the Baptist Convention, it was intended to honor the Fathers. It was a list of things that dads are often good at (mowing the lawn, math, etc) however, I got upset when I saw it said 'speling'. Was that a mistake? A joke? I don't know. I do know that I am growing tired of our society habitually running-down men. And unfortunately it has crept into the pews of our churches. I am all for a funny joke or an occasional slight. To prove my point take a little time to consciously watch TV or movies for how men are portrayed or pick up a 'Father's Day' card at the store randomly.

An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. Proverbs 31:10-12

It is our job as women to bring good to our men, not harm. So, honor your man today even if you don't think he deserves it, its called grace.

Happiness Is

2009-06-19T12:39:00.000-07:00

If happiness truly consisted in physical ease and freedom from care, then the happiest individual would not be either a man or a woman; it would be, I think, an American cow. ~William Lyon Phelps

I took these pictures a few weeks ago while out with C feeding our cows. He is very proud that he has a few that trust him enough to eat feed from his hand. Cows don't usually do that unless they are handled a lot, which ours are not put in the chute or handled but about three times a year. It reminds me of my 'Pepa' ( grandad), his cattle were always known as the gentlest bovines in the area.

A picture to our nearest neighbors...

Nothing More Than Random

2009-06-09T09:42:00.000-07:00

We are still cleaning our concrete floors so that we can stain them. It seems like every step in this house building process is the hardest part; however, I still think painting was by far the most exhausting. Floor cleaning is just extremely time consuming...

so instead of cleaning floors this past weekend we went to a friends birthday party, which was much more fun and relaxing! Then we went and bought 4 bunnies from a kid, with quite the buisness skills, nothing against his abilities, but really how hard is it to sell baby bunnies?

They are not 4H show rabbits, because I cannot break my children's hearts by selling rabbits for meat. It is hard enough that our goats get sold for slaughter. Yes, that is a peril and lesson of farm and ranch life. I will never forget the look on my-then 9 yo- son's face when he had to sell and say goodbye to his first show goat. Okay, enough sadness. The bunnies are dwarfs, so should not get to be more than about 3 lbs., they also behave very 'domesticated' and are fairly easy to handle and the kids love them. More chores. More chores.

I am sure that these have to be the 'dog days' of summer. I have a million projects that I would like to do, but by the time I am home and can do them-I am not inspired to get anything extra done. My list includes: paint a dining table white on bottom and paint china cabinet to match, for my new breakfast room. Paint and recover seats of chairs for girls bedrooms. Paint motif on breakfast room wall. Make message boards from picture frames. Finish sewing my friends burlap curtains (she probably thinks I forgot and knows I am too busy for her to mention it). Make chalkboard 'signs' from trays. Make a wooden sign for kids bath that reminds them to 'wash, flush, brush'.

Maybe this list will inspire me to get busy! One day at a time. Maybe after District 4H Contest, which is next week in Capitan. Maybe, I already am busy!!

A Happy Birthday & Such

2009-05-21T11:14:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to my eldest, Blake, who turned 15 today! You are my hero grocery carrier, amazing story writer, mindful planner, insightful thinker, fantastic archer and resident animal care-taker. I can't believe your so old! My word, where does the time go? I remember rocking you as a few-month-old baby and feeling like you had already grown as big as a kindergartner. Someone should warn mamas of boys that you start to let go as soon as you arrive.

Here's to honoring your wish to be pictorially obscure:

*no animals were harmed in this archery contest...the bear is foam.

I have to share this...our school held it's annual Field Day yesterday (anyone have fond memories of those?) and my beloved 12 yo daughter, Macey, competed in the 3-legged race with a boy in her class. They came in 2nd...without ever touching! I don't even think their feet touched one another. I kept yelling to them to put their arm around the other and there was NO WAY that was going to happen (which by the way I secretly loved)!

Shaylee, racing wholeheartedly to the finish... and Dawson showing his 'youngest child-ness', by not letting anyone get a head start!